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Monday 9 April 2012

Narazgi

These lines are inspired by few lines(title Narazgi ) posted by blogger friend relaxx please                                  
                                                     



Gaye toe the mekhane me kuch gum bula pane ke liye ...magar woh kaisa burf ka tukda ....khud to duba , hume bhi le doob gaya...khata humari  mehaz itni thi narazgi humari sharab se na thi bewafa burf se thi !

copyright (c)alkanarula
photo credit google search

Thursday 15 March 2012

rooh

  
This post is dedicate to blogger friend AmitAag and inspired by his word in my comment box.
         " deep frm my heart " in response to "Odyssey"

   



aap kaya samjhen ge gum hamara...aap toe is rooh se waqif nahin....dil to dhadkta hai hamara......aawaz us mein aati nahin...humari  muskurahat ke peeche chupa hai gum...jo aap samajh pate nahin
boo na lag jaye kisi ko is dil ki...hum paas kisi ke aate nahin...nazren jhuka chal deten hain hum.....bus muskura deten hain hum.....aap samajh paate nahin
          didaar karva diya jis din hum ne apne dil ka....aap seh na paao ge.....hum kaya tadpte hain
          aap bhi tadap jao ge..   ..kahin kaamp na jaye aap ki rooh , kuch aisa soch hum apna gum
           batate  nahin....aur aap samajh pate nahin.
      
 copyright (c)alka narula
          photo credit blogs.indiwire.com

Monday 12 March 2012

The past is imperfect-future looks perfect

 "Mother, am I your love or the reason for all that is painful in your life or am I your liability? I am not the fruit of your love; I came to this world owing to your profession. I don't blame you for this, but today we are examples of how daily necessities push one to take a beaten track. You are my mother, this is as true as another bitter truth - neither you nor I know who my father is..." excerpt of a poem by Madhav Ramanuj
 




  Sunday, history was  made as eight girls from the villageWADIA VILLAGE (BANASKANTHA) GUJRAT:  got married in a mass wedding for the first time and left their mother's profession behind forever under full support from the state govt . This hamlet of North Gujarat has been known for prostitution since pre-Independence days. Most men of the village openly solicit clients for their women.There have been many attempts to bring the women of this village out of prostitution, but due to the high acceptance among their own community, the women were pushed back into the fold. The girls were not considered marriage material since they carried the stamp of being daughters of prostitutes.    Those who consider themselves respectable  generally stayed away from this village known for prostitution, But on Sunday, all roads led to this dusty hamlet as it made history. For the first time after Independence one heard the wedding bells in the village. The village, which is infamous for housing sex workers, made a clean break on Sunday. The first mass marriage at this village which, till date, had resisted all attempts to change marked the dawn of a new era. .People of Deesa  donated ceremonial gifts for each girl. People finally embraced change . The invitation cards were sent out with beautiful,heart felt words of poetry( excerpts given on top ) by famous Gujrati Poet Madhav Ramanuj

Tuesday 21 February 2012

a child known by fathers name??

Updated: Mon, 20 Feb 2012 0:29 ISTThe Indian Express

Father’s name not must for passport: HC
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Utkarsh Anand : New Delhi, Mon Feb 28 2011, 00:17 hrs
A single mother’s determination in procuring a passport for her daughter without having to mention the father’s name on the document, led the Delhi High Court to announce what is likely to be hailed as a progressive ruling
                                                
                                      .
  i have always said " we were not made for each other " rather than putting it as " he was not a good husband "  but at the same time, i cant stop from saying " he could not make a good father ".A man who compromised a childs love for another woman ,a father who never tried to get in touch with his own blood is something , i have not been able to come to terms with till date. Such was the pain that we experienced  his name is not pronounced in our house ,  he is HE for us , not a single picture of him in our house nor a single thing that would remind us of him . Both of us dropped his name after my divorce nor we wanted his name to be used in any of our documents like passport,or driving licence etc etc ,which was quite easy for me as i could use my fathers name but it was a major issue in my daughters case ,as in certain documents fathers name was a must,but my daughter wanted to be known as her mothers daugher and not her fathers daughter.Several times ,i would fill up forms stating my status as single and would mention , "daughter 1 No " in childrens column, which actually raised several eyebrows and a couple of times i argued  "why ,cant a single woman have a child" on being asked   "ma'm you are single but you mentioned you have a child" .i would see a wierd look on their face while they thought and would agree to the point i was trying to put across. I always questioned why a child be known by its fathers name,what about single mothers ? and i srongly felt there that a child should have an option to use either mothers or fathers name ,when both parents make equal contribution to bring a new life in this world why cant a child use the name of his choice or an option of mothers name be given to the child ,many may not agree with me but it seems quite okay to me.Well ,the biggest challenge for us now was to wipe out his name from our life and you may call it sheer luck or what so ever we managed to do so by writing my name in place of both mothers and fathers name.the first thing she got was her pan card with her mothers name printed on it followed by her driving licence and rest of the documents. I felt so relieved by the news of high court ruling,that fathers name is not a must in passport form in 2011 but surprisingly  we are still stuck on the passport as the agents are still not accepting the form without the mention of fathers name , i thought i probably can attach the news print out and submit the form . i appreciate advice on this issue.

photo credit indyeah
logo credit The Indian Express
                    journalism of courage


Monday 13 February 2012

lessons from relationships



i am not here to preach but share what so ever i learnt from my life and particularly relationships.I experienced a sudden change in my life when i got married and came to stay in Delhi.Different people,different place , different culture and of course a different family. Until my marriage i knew nothing about caste , creed and culture ,for me only hindu,muslims and kashmiris were the three castes that existed . I would certainly like to share what i feel about diverse castes but would like to share about my learning from a broken  marriage and a couple of relationships i have had . when i look back and think of my married life i realise my marriage worked till the point i was not demanding , non demanding to the the extent if we had a flat tyre ,he would sit on the pavement and watch me change the tyre of the car and i still remember the day when it poured heavily , our apartment was flooded with water due to a blocked drain in the balcony, without giving it a second  thought  i went down,caught hold of a ladder ,climbed up and tried cleaning the blocked water pipe. I got drenched in rain while he watched me struggle open the block from the balcony ,that was the moment i got really pissed off and began to even hate his smile.There are many more such instances which i would not want to go into details , neither do i want to blame him but i blame myself for having created such a situation where a man became a woman and i started playing the role of a man.being a tom boy i was used to that kind of lifestyle which i continued living even after marriage ,  it gave me sense of achievement ,sense of my strength as a girl who was not dependent on a man , probably my bringing up made all the difference (being 5sisters no brother we  grew up into selfdependent girls)But that certainly did not lead to my divorce  , it was his extra marital affairs that led me to walk out on him  and i have no regrets about it , except that i married a guy who did not deserve me at all , probably i was too young when i fell in love for the first time(though i call it infatuation now) i was merely an 18yr old girl.Before i move away from the point i am trying to make , no matter how good or bad experience was my marriage for me but i learnt a few lessons which i am about to share and are important to make a relationship work . I would certainly want to mention my relationships as they were learning experience for me .  I broke off from 1st relationship on my will , one fine day i decided to walk out on him as i felt we had no future together and  we were getting no where,but till date he loves me though i dont love him any more but yes i do respect him and think of the time spent together.We  still wish each other on b'days and have healthy conversation without the mention of past . Theres  no bitterness , and the unbelievable fact we never had an argument in 5years of association forget the fights,such was the beauty of that relationship that i shall always cherish.My second relationship did not last for more than few months ,he became too obsessed , alcholic which led me to break free from that relationship and i swore never again. but being a human being we all hunt for love atleast i do.for me love is the ultimate which is extremely difficult to get unless you are the blessed one.

From what ever i have learnt the most important thing i feel is one needs to learn to give in love not demand , for that matter any relationship when it becomes too demanding it does not last and love is a very sensitive issue an emotional experience  . Love is giving not  receiving the moment you stop expecting and things fall in your platter on its own .
 Set free your partner dont try to hold him or her, it leads to nothing but suffocation and if your partner truly loves you , he or she will never cheat on you and if one does then theres no point of being in that relationship, a relationship has to have a strong bonding based on trust and honesty .I would also like to add if someone promises to change or mend ways , please dont trust  "people dont change." And please please please if ever you find your partner cheating on you break free from that relationship dont wait for your kids to grow up,they will get what they are entitled to , once a liar is always a liar and i feel once a cheater is always a cheater,at least thats what i learnt from my experience,though i always told him "if you fall out of love with me let me know,we shall part ways amicably" But neither he told me nor he changed and 13 years of my youth ,passed away sulking for the fact i knew he was involved with other women but never admitted instead gave me and my daughter hard time so that i leave him on my own.
One should avoid criticising your partner ,always try to put it across gently through conversation to improve upon or what you like or dislike rather than indulging in to criticising. Always criticise the situation that led your partner behave like that, its always situations and circumstances that develop our personality, no one is good or bad so lets not be judgemental.
 Avoid argument or retaliate in fights- as much as possible , choose silence rather than reacting or retaliate in a fight, try to maintain calm believe me it works,i often say "silence is the best killer",let the other partner pour out , honestly wear ear plugs or listen to music while the other partner is fuming.you can always talk it out once the situation is better.
 Look at the positive side of your partner rather than the negative , the more negative you see the more negative it would appear to be.
Last but not least respect for each other and space is very important.

photo credit  stockphoto.com

Saturday 11 February 2012

Quotes by Winston S. Churchill ( I )

The political history of the 20th century can be written as the biographies of six men: Lenin, Stalin, Hitler, Mao Zedong, Franklin Roosevelt and Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill. The first four were totalitarians who made or used revolutions to create monstrous dictatorships.

Roosevelt and Churchill differed from them in being democrats. And Churchill differed from Roosevelt - while both were war leaders, Churchill was uniquely stirred by the challenge of war and found his fulfillment in leading the democracies to victory.                              

                                     Sir Winston Churchill portrait
 
                                     1874- 1965
 
“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”
 
“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”
 
“Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.”
 
“Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened.”
 
“You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.”
 
“My tastes are simple: I am easily satisfied with the best.”
 
“If you are going through hell, keep going.”
 
“A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.”
 
“History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.”
 
“Never, never, never give in!”
 
photo credit picsearch.com

Wednesday 1 February 2012

I have nothing to lose

I got really moved by the mail i received from a friend who is a loner like me ,it got me thinking we all have a way of pouring  our hearts out in one form or the other.Some of us take refuge in nature,some of us  talk to ourselves which i do quite often and some of us have a company of imaginary friends .But loneliness , i feel is one of the gifts conferred by  god. Such people are blessed with expression and are able to communicate feelings through their words pretty well . No matter how lonely i feel at times , but yet am a very happy person focused on what i want in life , as i have no distractions .My time belongs to me,i am not answerable to any one except myself.I am fearless,not scared of dark,nor scared of losing any thing as i have nothing to lose.I strongly believe we all come naked and alone and thats how we are going to go so have no attachments .I have my own set of friends and those are my plants , my love for dogs and nature , my inquisitive mind which is always searching and what ever little knowledge i gain , i share on my blogs . My blogger friends,though i may not know them personally but they sure would wonder about my disappearance when i am gone.And with time the memories fade away,so will mine. Ireally don't know if there is life after death but like every one i do desire to know how does one feel when one takes his last breath and the final destination of our soul , if it really exists.and here are the excerpts of the mail which made me write this post.

Got up quite late (was about 7 am) and by 8.30 was on the treadmill.
I was sweating as hell by now and had covered about 6 km. It was at that moment that I understood the meaning of God is in everything and everything is in God.
What happened at this moment? As I ran across the treadmill I felt a vibration. A movement. Everything was in focus and was clear. I was a part of the treadmill, of the walls around me. Of all the animate and inanimate things around me. I was them and they were me. I was a part of God.
Because of my restricted intellect I had to give God a name...a form. I imagined the entire universe....the entire cosmos...almost like from the outside...but then there is no outside....because God encompasses everything. But I still needed to see him. I visualised him as Krishna. The blue skinned prince. Reclining. Consisting of all the billions of stars and suns and black holes and gas and dust and rock and me and you. There I was in God's loving embrace. In his lap as he nurtured me. Fed me the milk of life from his breast. I was he and he was me. I learnt that I needed to love myself because I am a part of him and if I love myself then in turn I love him.
I needed to nurture the fields that belong to him, because they are him and if I nurture them I will be doing my duty towards him. I must make a beautiful garden this year. My only duty towards him is to love him. He does not want me to pray nor enact any rituals. What duty am I talking about? All I need to do is to love myself and that is all.
Who am I? What is my life? The 50 long years that I have lived what do they mean. Will my soul survive my body?
My soul will survive my body. In God. He will have seen me and seen through me and experienced me and experienced through me because he is a part of me and I of him. My soul will continue to be with him. After my body has gone. In what form? That I don't know. Maybe in his memories or as a part of his eternal vibration. A part of his OM. I don't know and probably won't understand.
My 50 years are not even a tick on his watch. Because he is eternal.
I visualised him again. Serene, calm, smiling. He caressed my hair.
How am I to communicate with him? I needed something. I decided to use a sound...OM. I imagined it to be the sound of celestial vibration. The sound of God at work.
I lay in his lap for quite some time. I forgot my hate and my loathing for her. She was no longer my God. I had found my true God. I gave myself up to him. I took responsibility for all my actions and for whatever had happened in my life. I decided to live and be a part of what I believe is true.
I am in control again. Of my life, of my destiny. I don't need to blame anyone for my misfortunes. It was God's way of giving me a whack on my butt and letting me know who the real boss is.
God is life itself and life is God.
Amen.

photo credit photo bucket.com

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