i couldnt think of a title sorry

i was very young when i got married ,a tom boy who knew nothing about relationships nor household chores,an out going ,outspoken girl not a trace of diplomacy got married in to a joint family which was too orthodox, fell like a curse upon me.It was a marriage by choice and me being a girl full of self pride never confided in my family , so i was left alone with strangers who i could not understand nor i had a wave length with any of the family members. I did not know how to deal with my mother in law a typical " sasu ma " who wouldn't stop playing politics , hence the result ,today i stay alone with my daughter ,quite content and happy. Though i haven't seen my mom in law but she has grown quite old now and i have no complaints about the hell she gave me while i was married,nor i complain her support to my x while he was having extra marital affairs .I strongly feel he never deserved a woman like me and i wish i should not have taken that long to dump him and move on.
But when i think of the family politics i feel had i not been too young , i would have been in a better position to handle the situation.I still have not become diplomatic,as there is a saying "people don't change" nor have i but i share each and every thought that crops up my mind,and the situations that i could have handled in a better way if i was i little diplomatic, which has really helped me train my daughter to deal with the world.She may hate a person to the core but never loses her smile. Three years back my niece's marriage was on rocks and the formula of being sugar coated worked for her so well that everything fell in her lap.
No matter what i went through in my marriage but i acknowledge the need for joint family system .Being a sensitive and respectful person i would have really taken care of my in laws when they grew old,we being human beings fight for materials, have traits to get jealous disagree with others point of views and blah blah blah....but in the end we are helpless in front of supreme power.we all came alone empty handed and shall go the same way. being a responsible mother ,certainly i do want to secure my daughter but when it comes to me i hold no desires for materials and same is the case with all of us.I am happy with a pinch of love here  and there and that makes me feel good. my achievements make me proud but the materials i have achieved make me happy as they convey a message i can go peacefully without worrying about my daughter.
if given a chance i would like to leave everything and just write till the end ,of late i have begun to miss my gym ,reduced my work pressure and enjoy writing my blogs , my pleasure is to be heard by people else i feel lost in this world where no one knows no one and each one is lost in the grind of life.

Journey of Kohinoor Diamond from Delhi to Britain

   
                                                                         

India wants its crown jewel: The Kohinoor

Kohinoor diamond at the time it was found,  was said to weigh 793 carats, but through some incredibly ham-fisted cutting and polishing by a jeweller named Borgio it was reduced to 186 carats. This further reduced it from 186 carats to its present size of just less than 106 caratsIt is believed that the Kohinoor carries with it a curse and only when in the possession of a woman will the curse not work.

                                                         
The Mughal Empire was the longest foreign rule which lasted for more than three centuries in India and can be considered one of the largest centralised in pre modern history. The glorious rule came to an end with Aurangzeb's death who was a great ruler and set example by not using the  royal treasury which he believed belonged to the common man.  In fact, he wrote holy quran for his living which many of us may not be aware of(he used to write and sell) .  His wife used to weave skull caps to support his earning. He left seventeen legitimate claimants to the throne that included not only his sons but also his grandsons and great grandsons with his death.  Prince Muazzam assumed the title Bahadurshah I after killing his brother Prince Azam Shah and became the king. After the death of bahadurshah I a civil war broke out his son Jahandar Shah, emerged victorious in it with the support of Zulfiqar Khan who was the most powerful noble of the time. In Deccan Saiyid Husain Ali Khan colluded with the Marathas and attacked Delhi using trickery and intrigue seized Farrukhsiyar in the Red Fort. The emperor was blinded and caged and later poisoned as well as stabbed to death. However, prior to his death, Farrukhsiyar had the dubious distinction of aiding the British to have a firm foothold in India, by signing the much-coveted farman an imperial directive that would seal the future of British takeover of India.(excerpts from wikipedia)

Marathas were now constantly attacking Delhi. Nadir Shah (A Timur descendant) who had already usurped the throne in Persia and seized Kabul and Kandhar  and was invited by Muhammad Shah(only because he was incompetent to fight him due to lack of resources ).  as a guest to Delhi.  Nadir Shah who was in Delhi now  a royal guest , ordered a general massacre of Delhi citizens and looted every bit of wealth they could extort out of the royalty as well as Delhi’s citizens and departed with millions worth of gold, jewellry and coins. Even the emperor’s bejewelled peacock throne made during Shah Jahan's reign was packed on elephants and carried away to Persia. Another prize, the Koh-I-nur diamond (traditionally known as Madnayak or king of Jewels before being named renamed Kohinoor in 18th century  by Ahmad Shah Abdali who started his incursions into Delhi and looted the capital In a series of attacks , he also cleaned out Mathura, Kashmir and cities in Punjab). From the east the British defeated the Nawab of Bengal and occupied the state of Bengal.The Kōh-i Nūr which means "Mountain of Light" in Persian,  Koh-i-Nur, is a 105 carat (21.6 g) diamond (in its most recent cut) that was once the largest known diamond in the world was most recently seized by the East India Company and became part of the British Crown Jewels when Queen Victoria was proclaimed Empress of India in 1877.

my curious mind

This morning while i was writing my post on Marylin and Smitha for some reason lady Diana kept coming in my mind . now while i am writing about her i feel probably she wanted me to write about her,strange things happen in life, this lady would not have ever known my existence even if she was alive  ,though world apart i don't miss a single programme on her . she is one of those ladies i admire not for her being a princess,or being beautiful woman but for her sensitivity.i remember the jolt i got after hearing the news of her death . i still remember having seen her picture in a news paper when she became princess of whales.when i think about strong women i see a vacuum  hidden behind their persona,it may not be the case with all the successful or strong women but it could be the case with women i admire. destiny plays a strange role in most our lives so it did in lady Diana's case.i know how much i hate camilla but at the same time i also accept the fact that prince Charles never loved Diana and love knows no bound and hence the result.but what bothers me more than anything else is what was the need for the prince to marry her atall ,he could have married camilla but again it was destined to happen .i not being religious never believed in destiny but over the years i have established a strong belief in destiny and stars and astrology and cosmic powers and and and the list though not very long but i sure am not superstitious nor have i become religious.but there certainly is a power controlling all of us ,its a mystery which each of us wants to discover but fails like one of the college principals who committed suicide to see death.that was foolish but all of us are so curious to know if there is life after death an unsolved mystery

sets you on fire.......

 This is my contest entry for "sets you on fire"

If i go by my school teachers opinion about me i was never a brilliant student , but honestly as a child i felt i was much above their rating for a brilliant student ,a student who learnt from surroundings not books. i would flunk in half yearlies and a coupLe of times in finals too.every time i got my report card i would erase the actual marks with a blade change the figures ,have by report card signed by my dad ,re erase change back to actual marks and submit the report card. every morning would start with punishment to the extent one of my teacher "Shanta Ma'am " {Hope she reads my blog some day ) would pull my hair so hard that a lot of hair used to get uprooted from the beautiful crown i have ,LOL !! But it did not bother me at all day by day i was getting hardened by the sever punishment and in fact i started collecting my hair that would fall in hope of showing it to my parents who were away to pahelgam for 2 years.it was one of those days when i was told to call my dad to school and i didn't have a heart to inform my dad that his daughter is so notorious ,to talk about the fact i can equate the brilliance of all my classmates put together. incidentally my grand mom came to see me in t school the very next  day d as the luck would five minutes after my grand mom left my class teacher caught me and the first question she shot was "your dad didnt come ??" and my clever mind did not have to think and i shot back"my dari(dadi/grand mom) came to see you but couldn't find you and a little twist of my tongue saved me from situation.

Though  i grew up following Mahatma Gandhis teaching " bura mat dekho,bura mat suno and bura mat kaho" which is not easy to follow but  one of his teachings i have followed more ardently than others and that is lie if if really necessary and for me several such occassions do arrive every now and then ,one of them i would like to share with you all follows ;
i was caught by a traffic cop while talking on the phone while driving (though i was on loudspeaker but he noticed my lip movement ) and i had no choice but to stop my car to the signal from the cop chasing me in a police jeep . i frantically put away my phone under the driving seat while my other phone was lying on the pessanger seat . i pulled aside my car and quitely watched the cop walking towards me ,my mind contantly ticking like a clock as i was carrying neither my driving licence nor the car RC and Rest of the event is narrated below


Me     "Yes Sir"
cop     "you were on the phone "
me      "no sir ,you can see my phone lying on the other seat " pointing towards the other phone lying on the passenger seat

cop   " ma'am you kept it there after you saw us "
me     "never you can check my call record "
cop    " but i saw you talking" he argued in the meanwhile the senior cop had also join him and insisted that he also saw me talking .

me"   no sir,i was singing while driving "

both the cops looked at each others face and honestly i didnt know where to look to hide my sheepish smile and they let me go. i got away with my presence of mind and my  twist in tongue.LOL

copyright(c)alkanarula
gif credits http://photobucket.com/

similarities between marilyn monroe and silk smitha 's lives.......

 "good bye norma jean,though i never knew you  at all  but you had a grace to hold yourself , though those around you crawled......." Elton John

Last night was a night of Dirty Pictures ,towards the end of the movie ,i couldnt hold my tears exactly the way i couldnt hold them when i watched a movie based on  Marliyn Monoroes life .Some movies do leave an impact on your mind and being an emotional person i keep pondering over anything that touches my heart and this movie did it again.though i am not a movie buff ,i watch a movie only if its tooooo tooooo good and if its an emotional one its thoughts stay with me for days to come .Neither i had watched the promos nor i new nothing about the story line except that its inspired by a south indian actress silk smithas life who i did not know was dead or alive but by intermission my instincts told me that this girl is going to commit suicide ,thats probably my relationship with understanding of a woman who is selfmade,self risen from trash , exploited by society and last but not least successful and lonely.There are a lot of similarities in such women's lives but some break down and some intend to move on (wearing a mask of happiness to conceal their hollow souls ) and find ways to overcome the loneliness and continue their struggle towards emerging as a stronger person than the people who tried to or did succeed in exploiting them during their down trodden years of life.
the similarity between Marilyn and silk
Such is the similarity between Marilyn and silk smithas life,both started from scratch and became stars over night,both took up a screen name reshma became silk and Norma jean became Marilyn ,both were a part of glamour world and became legends(Marilyn ,world wide while silk industry wide probably will become world wide famous after this movie which has got four and a half *), in both the cases their charm worked for them to reach the top,both were aware of their assets and flaunted them to fullest ,both had at least one affair with a very successful yet married man who deserted them, in both the cases they shared a good repo with their younger brothers of these two men , who  also in the end deserted them for their selfish reasons, both the girls became alcoholics ,self destructive and in the end so lonely that it led to suicide and were cremated by one of their lovers !!

the versatile blogger awards

It's Time for The Award Ceremony.

Thank you so much leo paw of bigbitz fame ( http://bigbitz.blogspot.com/ ) for nominating me for the award

its an honor for me to recieve this award from a great blogger like you and it means alot to me ps its my

first such nomination..am soooooooo very thrilled:)

there are 5rules to be followed along with the nomination which are given below

1. Nominate 15 Fellow Bloggers
2. Inform the Bloggers of their nomination
3. Share 7 random things about yourself
4. Thank the Blogger who nominated you
5. Add the Versatile Blog Award picture to your blog post

I feel honored to pass on the award to 15 wonderful fellow bloggers whos posts i have aalways loved to read and have really enjoyed reading the nominations are given below

1.Readittt for  Readitt (the e magazine)

2.Sagittarian for       What Matters Most

3.Saru singhal    for Words

4.Narcissist for  Diary of a Narcissist

5.Apoyando for Striking the chords..

6.Kitty for Kitty's Pitara

7.Mn hopkins for Stranger In A Strange Land

8.Rahul bhatia for Rahul's Blog and collections

9.Deepak karthik for WhateveR iT TakeS !!

10.Rob for Wind Rose Hotel

11.Sujatha sathya for Conversations

12.Priyanka mohanty for Airy Nothing

13.Ellie great for Blogger (Blogspot) - elliegreat

14.Shashi for Blogger (Blogspot) - shadowdancingwithmind

15.Simplified blogging for SB

NOW ITS TIME FOR 7 RANDOM THINGS ABOUT ME

1.I am scared of travelling in metros i fear that i will get lost

2.I am a absolute loner dont have too many friends

3.I am the worst cook in the world you can imagine and my daughter is the real cook whos recipes you read

4.Television gives me a headache

5.I am completely self established and independent

6.I live in a world of my own a fantasy world when i write my poetry

7.I can sleep 24hours a day if given a chance:p

Now its time for me to inform all my fellow bloggers who i have nominated,keep blogging you all.

and a biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiggggggg thank you to leo paw

Should prostitution be legalised ?????

A lot of people may disagree with me or even feel offended but this issue has often bothered me and given a choice i would have loved to voice my support to sex workers.I haven't forgotten my grand dads word " wine,woman and gambling has existed  from ancient times and will never become extinct"as a child i could understand wine and gamble but prostitution had such deep and vast meaning it was beyond my comprehension at that age.
Some time back i had a discussion with a Mumbai based friend  about the ban on Beer Bars in Mumbai , few thousand girls lost their source of income . Though the Govt did try to rehab them but it doesn't seem to have worked  and i have a strong feeling it never will as the girls sure cant survive on what they earn from a rehab as they have huge families to support, nor they are educated enough to take up  good paying job due to lack of education nor would people accept them in a society where prostitution is looked down upon until its legalised.Few days back i saw a few girls being arrested  from a cellar of a bar in Mumbai and last night i saw about 300 girls have been arrested in various raids in Mumbai alone in past few days. Everytime i see girls hiding their faces coming out of their hideout with lady cops who look very proud after the kill makes me wonder, why cant prostitution be legalised in our country like few western countries , where a sex worker files an  income tax return and live  a normal life , like any other normal female and is not looked down upon.there are pros and cons in every business ,every relationship , most foods , almost everything then why cant we accept this trade just like any other trade . I accept the fact that there are people who do not afford to be in a bar or a brothel and end up spending all their earnings in such place while their families starve but why cant we have a law where a minimum entry free is charged or right to enter is reserved like a luxury hotel or a night club, by the owners which is not affordable by such people ??The latest stats of men going for paid sex  that  i saw in the news were 23 %  and if we calculate the number considering Indian population its huge. And i am sure that 23% does not include men who must have chosen or not felt comfortable  to disclose that part of their lives . Lets accept the fact men are men they do stray ( not all men) nor can we stop the girls who are in this trade then why not have a system . Men do it for pleasure  its natural instinct with them  and if we go back in History a king could have any no of wives but with women becoming aware of their rites and restrictions by the law a married man is not allowed to have a relationship outside his marriage  but extra marital affairs and one night stands do exist and in huge nos , neither wives nor govt has been able to stop or control them .I personally feel a man who pays for sex is much more honest to his wife as he has pleasure with no strings attached rather than the one who gets entangled in an emotional relationship , where a man in case is not able to balance both sides of his life ends up  hurting himself and both his wife and the other woman .  And where as sex workers are concerned no girl want to get in to it unless she is in desperate need , but who tries to understand them or their problems. who knows how many deaths a girl dies every time she indulges into an act  of no choice.Here i am not at all supporting forced or child prostitution nor trying to defend men who use these services, but i do discount the girls like models or film stars  in case they do indulge into such an activity , i totally understand the reason .sometimes when we are used to luxuries and glamour it becomes difficult for us to maintain a certain lifestyle which one finds difficult to maintain once deglamourised and we live in a democratic country where every one has a right to choose and do what one wants to. I personally visited beer bars in Mumbai one a high end and the other a low end  out of curiosity and understand these females.i couldn't stop myself from dancing with them on the floor with the music on and was actually forced to come back on my seat by my friend , for not being misunderstood by other men present in the bar, but i found no difference between the girls and me as human beings except for they wanted to dance for money but i wasn't there for money ,it was the music i enjoyed.They were all flesh and bones  like me with a heart beat inside , but were wearing a mask that one could not see through .I strongly feel it should be legalised so that these girls do not have to live a life of guilt ,certain measures do need to be taken . Any body familiar with Delhi would know about the round about next to posh Defence Colony market where one can find  a number of girls making inviting gestures and walking up to the cars that had stopped for them and the cops around turn a blind eye as Hafta ( from these girls )  . These girls are harassed if they refuse to pay them (seen with my own eyes and after speaking to these girls personally ) And i am sure every one is aware its not just men these days women too are indulging into buying sex and Gigolo are also on rise in metro pols .  But if you really ask me no govt ,no wife or family can stop a man from from indulging into  it in fact if the prostitution is legalised it will ensure safety ,respect  for the so called antisocial elements of the society and generate revenue for the govt which right now goes into the pockets of  some greedy policemen.
copyright(c) alka narula
excerpts from the book"should prostitution be legalised"by alka narula copying the concept or matter is strictly prohibited and will lead to legal repurcussions