lessons from relationships

i am not here to preach but share what so ever i learnt from my life and particularly relationships.I experienced a sudden change in my life when i got married and came to stay in Delhi.Different people,different place , different culture and of course a different family. Until my marriage i knew nothing about caste , creed and culture ,for me only hindu,muslims and kashmiris were the three castes that existed . I would certainly like to share what i feel about diverse castes but would like to share about my learning from a broken  marriage and a couple of relationships i have had . when i look back and think of my married life i realise my marriage worked till the point i was not demanding , non demanding to the the extent if we had a flat tyre ,he would sit on the pavement and watch me change the tyre of the car and i still remember the day when it poured heavily , our apartment was flooded with water due to a blocked drain in the balcony, without giving it a second  thought  i went down,caught hold of a ladder ,climbed up and tried cleaning the blocked water pipe. I got drenched in rain while he watched me struggle open the block from the balcony ,that was the moment i got really pissed off and began to even hate his smile.There are many more such instances which i would not want to go into details , neither do i want to blame him but i blame myself for having created such a situation where a man became a woman and i started playing the role of a man.being a tom boy i was used to that kind of lifestyle which i continued living even after marriage ,  it gave me sense of achievement ,sense of my strength as a girl who was not dependent on a man , probably my bringing up made all the difference (being 5sisters no brother we  grew up into selfdependent girls)But that certainly did not lead to my divorce  , it was his extra marital affairs that led me to walk out on him  and i have no regrets about it , except that i married a guy who did not deserve me at all , probably i was too young when i fell in love for the first time(though i call it infatuation now) i was merely an 18yr old girl.Before i move away from the point i am trying to make , no matter how good or bad experience was my marriage for me but i learnt a few lessons which i am about to share and are important to make a relationship work . I would certainly want to mention my relationships as they were learning experience for me .  I broke off from 1st relationship on my will , one fine day i decided to walk out on him as i felt we had no future together and  we were getting no where,but till date he loves me though i dont love him any more but yes i do respect him and think of the time spent together.We  still wish each other on b'days and have healthy conversation without the mention of past . Theres  no bitterness , and the unbelievable fact we never had an argument in 5years of association forget the fights,such was the beauty of that relationship that i shall always cherish.My second relationship did not last for more than few months ,he became too obsessed , alcholic which led me to break free from that relationship and i swore never again. but being a human being we all hunt for love atleast i do.for me love is the ultimate which is extremely difficult to get unless you are the blessed one.

From what ever i have learnt the most important thing i feel is one needs to learn to give in love not demand , for that matter any relationship when it becomes too demanding it does not last and love is a very sensitive issue an emotional experience  . Love is giving not  receiving the moment you stop expecting and things fall in your platter on its own .
 Set free your partner dont try to hold him or her, it leads to nothing but suffocation and if your partner truly loves you , he or she will never cheat on you and if one does then theres no point of being in that relationship, a relationship has to have a strong bonding based on trust and honesty .I would also like to add if someone promises to change or mend ways , please dont trust  "people dont change." And please please please if ever you find your partner cheating on you break free from that relationship dont wait for your kids to grow up,they will get what they are entitled to , once a liar is always a liar and i feel once a cheater is always a cheater,at least thats what i learnt from my experience,though i always told him "if you fall out of love with me let me know,we shall part ways amicably" But neither he told me nor he changed and 13 years of my youth ,passed away sulking for the fact i knew he was involved with other women but never admitted instead gave me and my daughter hard time so that i leave him on my own.
One should avoid criticising your partner ,always try to put it across gently through conversation to improve upon or what you like or dislike rather than indulging in to criticising. Always criticise the situation that led your partner behave like that, its always situations and circumstances that develop our personality, no one is good or bad so lets not be judgemental.
 Avoid argument or retaliate in fights- as much as possible , choose silence rather than reacting or retaliate in a fight, try to maintain calm believe me it works,i often say "silence is the best killer",let the other partner pour out , honestly wear ear plugs or listen to music while the other partner is fuming.you can always talk it out once the situation is better.
 Look at the positive side of your partner rather than the negative , the more negative you see the more negative it would appear to be.
Last but not least respect for each other and space is very important.

photo credit  stockphoto.com

Quotes by Winston S. Churchill ( I )

The political history of the 20th century can be written as the biographies of six men: Lenin, Stalin, Hitler, Mao Zedong, Franklin Roosevelt and Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill. The first four were totalitarians who made or used revolutions to create monstrous dictatorships.

Roosevelt and Churchill differed from them in being democrats. And Churchill differed from Roosevelt - while both were war leaders, Churchill was uniquely stirred by the challenge of war and found his fulfillment in leading the democracies to victory.                              

                                     

 

                                     1874- 1965

 

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”
 

“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”

 

“Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.”
 

“Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened.”

 

“You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.”

 

“My tastes are simple: I am easily satisfied with the best.”

 

“If you are going through hell, keep going.”

 

“A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.”

 

“History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.”
 

“Never, never, never give in!”

 

photo credit picsearch.com

I have nothing to lose

I got really moved by the mail i received from a friend who is a loner like me ,it got me thinking we all have a way of pouring  our hearts out in one form or the other.Some of us take refuge in nature,some of us  talk to ourselves which i do quite often and some of us have a company of imaginary friends .But loneliness , i feel is one of the gifts conferred by  god. Such people are blessed with expression and are able to communicate feelings through their words pretty well . No matter how lonely i feel at times , but yet am a very happy person focused on what i want in life , as i have no distractions .My time belongs to me,i am not answerable to any one except myself.I am fearless,not scared of dark,nor scared of losing any thing as i have nothing to lose.I strongly believe we all come naked and alone and thats how we are going to go so have no attachments .I have my own set of friends and those are my plants , my love for dogs and nature , my inquisitive mind which is always searching and what ever little knowledge i gain , i share on my blogs . My blogger friends,though i may not know them personally but they sure would wonder about my disappearance when i am gone.And with time the memories fade away,so will mine. Ireally don't know if there is life after death but like every one i do desire to know how does one feel when one takes his last breath and the final destination of our soul , if it really exists.and here are the excerpts of the mail which made me write this post.

Got up quite late (was about 7 am) and by 8.30 was on the treadmill.
I was sweating as hell by now and had covered about 6 km. It was at that moment that I understood the meaning of God is in everything and everything is in God.
What happened at this moment? As I ran across the treadmill I felt a vibration. A movement. Everything was in focus and was clear. I was a part of the treadmill, of the walls around me. Of all the animate and inanimate things around me. I was them and they were me. I was a part of God.
Because of my restricted intellect I had to give God a name...a form. I imagined the entire universe....the entire cosmos...almost like from the outside...but then there is no outside....because God encompasses everything. But I still needed to see him. I visualised him as Krishna. The blue skinned prince. Reclining. Consisting of all the billions of stars and suns and black holes and gas and dust and rock and me and you. There I was in God's loving embrace. In his lap as he nurtured me. Fed me the milk of life from his breast. I was he and he was me. I learnt that I needed to love myself because I am a part of him and if I love myself then in turn I love him.
I needed to nurture the fields that belong to him, because they are him and if I nurture them I will be doing my duty towards him. I must make a beautiful garden this year. My only duty towards him is to love him. He does not want me to pray nor enact any rituals. What duty am I talking about? All I need to do is to love myself and that is all.
Who am I? What is my life? The 50 long years that I have lived what do they mean. Will my soul survive my body?
My soul will survive my body. In God. He will have seen me and seen through me and experienced me and experienced through me because he is a part of me and I of him. My soul will continue to be with him. After my body has gone. In what form? That I don't know. Maybe in his memories or as a part of his eternal vibration. A part of his OM. I don't know and probably won't understand.
My 50 years are not even a tick on his watch. Because he is eternal.
I visualised him again. Serene, calm, smiling. He caressed my hair.
How am I to communicate with him? I needed something. I decided to use a sound...OM. I imagined it to be the sound of celestial vibration. The sound of God at work.
I lay in his lap for quite some time. I forgot my hate and my loathing for her. She was no longer my God. I had found my true God. I gave myself up to him. I took responsibility for all my actions and for whatever had happened in my life. I decided to live and be a part of what I believe is true.
I am in control again. Of my life, of my destiny. I don't need to blame anyone for my misfortunes. It was God's way of giving me a whack on my butt and letting me know who the real boss is.
God is life itself and life is God.
Amen.

photo credit photo bucket.com

Why is Wikipedia blacked-out?

 
Any information i dial JUSTDIAL Services ,  for a word and its meaning i dont look up my dictionary , any knoweldge i seek i dont go to a book store , from any thing to everything i depend on WIKIPEDIA,An Online Encyclopedia . Since morning i have been trying to look for one word substitution for "mother of pearl"but failed. After several attempts i recalled the news that i had heard yesterday ,which said something about Wikipedia Blackout in protest of SOPA and PIPA bills which are either due or have been passed by  US Govt i am not too sure).  i rembered having seen some new window open up instead of  Wikipedia in all my attempts and out of curiocity i went back to search again , and what i found ,though does not concern me but certainly affects not only me but most of us who search this particular encyclopedia for the info so i decided to share the contents ,with all of you . (copy pasted from wikipedia)

 

Imagine a World
Without Free Knowledge

For over a decade, we have spent millions of hours building the largest encyclopedia in human history. Right now, the U.S. Congress is considering legislation that could fatally damage the free and open Internet. For 24 hours, to raise awareness, we are blacking out Wikipedia. Learn more.

Make your voice heard...

Why is Wikipedia blacked-out?

Wikipedia is protesting against SOPA and PIPA by blacking out the English Wikipedia for 24 hours, beginning at midnight January 18, Eastern Time. Readers who come to English Wikipedia during the blackout will not be able to read the encyclopedia. Instead, you will see messages intended to raise awareness about SOPA and PIPA, encouraging you to share your views with your representatives, and with each other on social media.

What are SOPA and PIPA?

SOPA and PIPA represent two bills in the United States House of Representatives and the United States Senate respectively. SOPA is short for the "Stop Online Piracy Act," and PIPA is an acronym for the "Protect IP Act." ("IP" stands for "intellectual property.") In short, these bills are efforts to stop copyright infringement committed by foreign web sites, but, in our opinion, they do so in a way that actually infringes free expression while harming the Internet. Detailed information about these bills can be found in the Stop Online Piracy Act and PROTECT IP Act articles on Wikipedia, which are available during the blackout. GovTrack lets you follow both bills through the legislative process: SOPA on this page, and PIPA on this one. The Electronic Frontier Foundation, a non-profit organization dedicated to advocating for the public interest in the digital realm, has summarized why these bills are simply unacceptable in a world that values an open, secure, and free Internet.

Why is the blackout happening?

Wikipedians have chosen to black out the English Wikipedia for the first time ever, because we are concerned that SOPA and PIPA will severely inhibit people's access to online information. This is not a problem that will solely affect people in the United States: it will affect everyone around the world.

Why? SOPA and PIPA are badly drafted legislation that won't be effective at their stated goal (to stop copyright infringement), and will cause serious damage to the free and open Internet. They put the burden on website owners to police user-contributed material and call for the unnecessary blocking of entire sites. Small sites won't have sufficient resources to defend themselves. Big media companies may seek to cut off funding sources for their foreign competitors, even if copyright isn't being infringed. Foreign sites will be blacklisted, which means they won't show up in major search engines. And, SOPA and PIPA build a framework for future restrictions and suppression.

Does this mean that Wikipedia itself is violating copyright laws, or hosting pirated content?

No, not at all. Some supporters of SOPA and PIPA characterize everyone who opposes them as cavalier about copyright, but that is not accurate. Wikipedians are knowledgeable about copyright and vigilant in protecting against violations: Wikipedians spend thousands of hours every week reviewing and removing infringing content. We are careful about it because our mission is to share knowledge freely. To that end, all Wikipedians release their contributions under a free license, and all the material we offer is freely licensed. Free licenses are incompatible with copyright infringement, and so infringement is not tolerated.

Isn't SOPA dead? Wasn't the bill shelved, and didn't the White House declare that it won't sign anything that resembles the current bill?

No, neither SOPA nor PIPA is dead. On January 17th, SOPA's sponsor said the bill will be discussed in early February. There are signs PIPA may be debated on the Senate floor next week. Moreover, SOPA and PIPA are just indicators of a much broader problem. In many jurisdictions around the world, we're seeing the development of legislation that prioritizes overly-broad copyright enforcement laws, laws promoted by power players, over the preservation of individual civil liberties.

How could SOPA and PIPA hurt Wikipedia?

SOPA and PIPA are a threat to Wikipedia in many ways. For example, in its current form, SOPA would require Wikipedia to actively monitor every site we link to, to ensure it doesn't host infringing content. Any link to an infringing site could put us in jeopardy of being forced offline.

I live in the United States. What's the best way for me to help?

The most effective action you can take is to call your representatives and tell them you oppose SOPA and PIPA, and any similar legislation. Type your zipcode in the locator box to find your representatives' contact information. Text-based communication is okay, but phone calls have the most impact.

I don't live in the United States. How can I help?

Contact your local State Department, Ministry of Foreign Affairs, or similar branch of government. Tell them you oppose SOPA and PIPA, and any similar legislation. SOPA and PIPA will affect sites outside of the United States, and actions to sites inside the United States (like Wikipedia) will also affect non-American readers -- like you. Calling your own government will also let them know you don't want them to create their own bad anti-Internet legislation.

Is it still possible to access Wikipedia in any way?

Yes. During the blackout, Wikipedia is accessible on mobile devices and smart phones. You can also view Wikipedia normally by disabling JavaScript in your browser, as explained on this Technical FAQ page. Our purpose here isn't to make it completely impossible for people to read Wikipedia, and it's okay for you to circumvent the blackout. We just want to make sure you see our message.

I keep hearing that this is a fight between Hollywood and Silicon Valley. Is that true?

No. Some people are characterizing it that way, probably in an effort to imply all the participants are motivated by commercial self-interest. But it's obviously not that simple. The proof of that is Wikipedia's involvement. Wikipedia has no financial self-interest at play here: we do not benefit from copyright infringement, nor are we trying to monetize traffic or sell ads. We are protesting to raise awareness about SOPA and PIPA solely because we think they will hurt the Internet, and your ability to access information online. We are doing this for you, because we're on your side.

In carrying out this protest, is Wikipedia abandoning neutrality?

We hope you continue to trust Wikipedia to be a neutral information source. We are staging this blackout because (as Wikimedia Foundation Trustee Kat Walsh said recently), although Wikipedia’s articles are neutral, its existence is not. For over a decade, Wikipedians have spent millions of hours building the largest encyclopedia in human history. Wikipedia is a tremendously useful resource, and its existence depends upon a free, open and uncensored Internet. SOPA and PIPA (and other similar laws under discussion inside and outside the United States) will hurt you, because they will make it impossible for sites you enjoy, and benefit from, to continue to exist. That's why we're doing this.

I have a question that isn't answered here, or, I would like to send feedback to Wikipedia.

You can reach Wikipedia editors at info-en(at)wikimedia(dot)org. If you need a response, please be patient: we may have trouble keeping up with the mail

Fatwa against Surya Namaskara(Sun Salutation)

The huge furore of some people and a Fatwa against yoga came  as a shock to me and i am sure many more must have felt the same. The way some people have given Yoga a religious colour and branded it unislamic is totally unwarranted , nothing but intolerance .I watched the debate on National Television and to my surprise,according to one gentleman  Surya Nanmaskara was worship of Sun,which  is not allowed in their religion,where as its a mere exercise to strengthen  the core .Wanted to tell him, Yoga is Indian and has got nothing to do with any religion .

Surya Namaskara, known in English as Sun Salutation , is a common sequence of Hatha yoga asanas. . This sequence of movements and poses can be practised on varying levels of awareness, ranging from that of physical exercise in various styles..
The physical base of the Practice links together twelve asanas in a dynamically performed series. These asanas are ordered so that they alternately stretch the spine backwards and forwards. When performed in the usual way, each asana is moved into with alternate inhalation and exhalation (except for the sixth asana where the breath is held in external suspension). A full round of Surya namaskara is considered to be two sets of the twelve poses with a change in the second set to moving the opposite leg first through the series.
Some proponents of the use of Surya namaskara as part of the modern yoga tradition prefer to perform it at sunrise, which is considered to be the most  favorable  time of the day does not mean offering prayers to the Sun .

photo credit Kulkarni's Surya Namaskara

5 must follow vastu(architectural science) tips

Most of us at some point of time go through a lean phase in life and thats the time we all rush to astrologers,pundits and try to follow every possible tip available to get some relief. I too  experienced a similar situation when a friend of mine advised me on vastu shastra(architectural science) Not being a superstitious and religious person i have neither criticised or disrespected others beliefs but havealways tried  to seek logic behind their beliefs.Since i was going through a rough time i picked up a few books on Vastu studied them but could find no reasoning . In most of the books no logic was given but everything resulted in loss of money if one did not follow vastu shastra. some of it did make sense to me after i was able to  reason out the scientific logic behind it . i tried to follow what ever made sense to me until i met a learned person ,an expert in vastu from south India who had come to visit my clients factory office in Punjab.Incidentally i happened to be there and out of curiosity i asked him various questions and surprisingly he was able to convince me on most of them. and ever since then i  started believing in vastu which in other words is known as architectural science. Here i would like to share few of them with logic with all of you , in case you feel convinced you must follow it

ONE    -  why the house where one lives should be facing east ?

LOGIC- the sun rises from east and early morning sun is rich source of vitamin D , in the form of calciferol (vitamin D3) is a fat-soluble vitamin. It is found in food, but also can be made in your body after exposure to ultraviolet rays.

 TWO -   why there should be no leaking taps in the house ,does it result in loss of money ?

LOGIC - sounds ridiculous,but the logic is quite convincing,the constant tipping sound of water causes  irritation ,which unables us to think properly and any decision taken in irritation results in wrong decisions which could be at home or at work place,and the wrong decisions at work place make one lose money.

THREE -  why the master bed room should be in the south west corner of the house ?

LOGIC - due to earths magnetic field ,this area gets  the maximum energy which is passed on to us ,since the master of the house is responsible for all the major decisions and is the bread winner requires that energy to make best of it.

FOUR - why the elders in the hose should sleep with their head toward the south where as kids in east ?

LOGIC - our earth has two poles north and south according to vastu the head of a human body is considered north pole and toes the south,we very well know that the opposite poles attract where as similar repell.if we sleep with our head towards south, being  the opposite pole one is able to have a sound sleep where as if the similar poles are put together it  results in constant repell causing sleep less nights.

in case of children who are studying they are advised to sleep with their head towards east so that they can receive early morning rays of sun and the reason is explained in the 1st point mentioned above.

* one is advised sleep with their head towards east or south but never north and west.

FIVE -  why there should be no road  outside the south side of the house ?

LOGIC -no road in the south is advised as the sound of vehicles ,or honking can cause disturbance which might result in sleep less night which is quite logical.

*if  it does make sense to you do let me know i can share a lot more with you which you might find useful . 

photo credit shreedarshan.com

the magistrate from hell

 

judicial-activism.jpg

Today i saw the ugliest face of Indian judiciary and what power can do gone are the days when the judges were calm,just and unbiased.here is what happened i would appreciate advise on filing a complaint against a judge as well so feel free to give your feedback and advise.
i have a case against me under section 138 as i had made stop payment of  an advance cheque for which i received no goods and the supplier concerned filed a case in the court.Now  i entered the courtroom of saket district court new Delhi with my bailee . While my lawyer had gone to get  a bail bond  on the 1st hearing  my name was called out,i appeared in the court and  informed the judge ,who appeared to be 35years who sat on his chair like an autocrat.He told me to return with my lawyer as  i returned after10minutes  at 11.15am with my lawyer the judge told us to return at 12pm sharp so my lawyer left telling me he would be back at 11.45. while i waited at 11.25 my name was called again i appeared before the magistrate and told him that my lawyer is will  at 12pm as we were asked to come back at 12. He shocked me by banging my file on the table and said now you return at 12pm which once again we did and waited for the magistrate to return from his chambers till 12.30pm when he did not the bail papers along with the driving license and the car rc of my bailee was sent to his chamber when the license was returned we learnt that the magistrate had retained the rc of a car worth rupees 6lakh for a bail bond near rupees 10000 without even giving us a chance to fend for ourselves.Anyways we were told that we will receive a letter from the court saying the rc has been retained by the court in the meanwhile we should give our thumb impressions in the adjacent room for the bail bond where i was asked to give a bribe of rupees 500 to give our thumb impressions which  i refused and after threatening the concerned person with a complaint against him did he take our thumb impressions now the court letter.It was sent to the magistrate in his chamber which he refused to sign asking us to return again at 2pm to get the letter i had no option so i was there at the courtroom again at 2pm the magistrate entered the room at 2.37pm and signed the court letter while their was another lawyer standing before him requesting the magistrate to reopen the case he had dismissed in front of me the magistrate told the lawyer i am sorry mere se galti ho gai thi i assumed things but mein ab case dismiss karne baad re open nahi kar sakta..when i went outside their was another lawyer complaining about the same magistrate saying that he is not giving the next date to appear for his case..This magistrate was the worst example of justice by far the most arrogant and biased man i have come across.I honestly fear that he will pass a biased judgement in my own case as it is i dont want anyone to face the kind of harassment i have faced at the hands of the honourable metropolitan magistrate so i am going to fight and i am going to file a complaint along with the two lawyers outside the courtroom who wanted to file a complaint against him as well.Please do guide if you have any idea about how to go about it and your comments are always welcome