The past is imperfect-future looks perfect

 "Mother, am I your love or the reason for all that is painful in your life or am I your liability? I am not the fruit of your love; I came to this world owing to your profession. I don't blame you for this, but today we are examples of how daily necessities push one to take a beaten track. You are my mother, this is as true as another bitter truth - neither you nor I know who my father is..." excerpt of a poem by Madhav Ramanuj

 

  Sunday, history was  made as eight girls from the villageWADIA VILLAGE (BANASKANTHA) GUJRAT:  got married in a mass wedding for the first time and left their mother's profession behind forever under full support from the state govt . This hamlet of North Gujarat has been known for prostitution since pre-Independence days. Most men of the village openly solicit clients for their women.There have been many attempts to bring the women of this village out of prostitution, but due to the high acceptance among their own community, the women were pushed back into the fold. The girls were not considered marriage material since they carried the stamp of being daughters of prostitutes.    Those who consider themselves respectable  generally stayed away from this village known for prostitution, But on Sunday, all roads led to this dusty hamlet as it made history. For the first time after Independence one heard the wedding bells in the village. The village, which is infamous for housing sex workers, made a clean break on Sunday. The first mass marriage at this village which, till date, had resisted all attempts to change marked the dawn of a new era. .People of Deesa  donated ceremonial gifts for each girl. People finally embraced change . The invitation cards were sent out with beautiful,heart felt words of poetry( excerpts given on top ) by famous Gujrati Poet Madhav Ramanuj

a child known by fathers name??

Updated: Mon, 20 Feb 2012 0:29 IST

Father’s name not must for passport: HC
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Utkarsh Anand : New Delhi, Mon Feb 28 2011, 00:17 hrs

A single mother’s determination in procuring a passport for her daughter without having to mention the father’s name on the document, led the Delhi High Court to announce what is likely to be hailed as a progressive ruling
                                                
                                      .
  i have always said " we were not made for each other " rather than putting it as " he was not a good husband "  but at the same time, i cant stop from saying " he could not make a good father ".A man who compromised a childs love for another woman ,a father who never tried to get in touch with his own blood is something , i have not been able to come to terms with till date. Such was the pain that we experienced  his name is not pronounced in our house ,  he is HE for us , not a single picture of him in our house nor a single thing that would remind us of him . Both of us dropped his name after my divorce nor we wanted his name to be used in any of our documents like passport,or driving licence etc etc ,which was quite easy for me as i could use my fathers name but it was a major issue in my daughters case ,as in certain documents fathers name was a must,but my daughter wanted to be known as her mothers daugher and not her fathers daughter.Several times ,i would fill up forms stating my status as single and would mention , "daughter 1 No " in childrens column, which actually raised several eyebrows and a couple of times i argued  "why ,cant a single woman have a child" on being asked   "ma'm you are single but you mentioned you have a child" .i would see a wierd look on their face while they thought and would agree to the point i was trying to put across. I always questioned why a child be known by its fathers name,what about single mothers ? and i srongly felt there that a child should have an option to use either mothers or fathers name ,when both parents make equal contribution to bring a new life in this world why cant a child use the name of his choice or an option of mothers name be given to the child ,many may not agree with me but it seems quite okay to me.Well ,the biggest challenge for us now was to wipe out his name from our life and you may call it sheer luck or what so ever we managed to do so by writing my name in place of both mothers and fathers name.the first thing she got was her pan card with her mothers name printed on it followed by her driving licence and rest of the documents. I felt so relieved by the news of high court ruling,that fathers name is not a must in passport form in 2011 but surprisingly  we are still stuck on the passport as the agents are still not accepting the form without the mention of fathers name , i thought i probably can attach the news print out and submit the form . i appreciate advice on this issue.

photo credit indyeah
logo credit The Indian Express
                    journalism of courage

lessons from relationships

i am not here to preach but share what so ever i learnt from my life and particularly relationships.I experienced a sudden change in my life when i got married and came to stay in Delhi.Different people,different place , different culture and of course a different family. Until my marriage i knew nothing about caste , creed and culture ,for me only hindu,muslims and kashmiris were the three castes that existed . I would certainly like to share what i feel about diverse castes but would like to share about my learning from a broken  marriage and a couple of relationships i have had . when i look back and think of my married life i realise my marriage worked till the point i was not demanding , non demanding to the the extent if we had a flat tyre ,he would sit on the pavement and watch me change the tyre of the car and i still remember the day when it poured heavily , our apartment was flooded with water due to a blocked drain in the balcony, without giving it a second  thought  i went down,caught hold of a ladder ,climbed up and tried cleaning the blocked water pipe. I got drenched in rain while he watched me struggle open the block from the balcony ,that was the moment i got really pissed off and began to even hate his smile.There are many more such instances which i would not want to go into details , neither do i want to blame him but i blame myself for having created such a situation where a man became a woman and i started playing the role of a man.being a tom boy i was used to that kind of lifestyle which i continued living even after marriage ,  it gave me sense of achievement ,sense of my strength as a girl who was not dependent on a man , probably my bringing up made all the difference (being 5sisters no brother we  grew up into selfdependent girls)But that certainly did not lead to my divorce  , it was his extra marital affairs that led me to walk out on him  and i have no regrets about it , except that i married a guy who did not deserve me at all , probably i was too young when i fell in love for the first time(though i call it infatuation now) i was merely an 18yr old girl.Before i move away from the point i am trying to make , no matter how good or bad experience was my marriage for me but i learnt a few lessons which i am about to share and are important to make a relationship work . I would certainly want to mention my relationships as they were learning experience for me .  I broke off from 1st relationship on my will , one fine day i decided to walk out on him as i felt we had no future together and  we were getting no where,but till date he loves me though i dont love him any more but yes i do respect him and think of the time spent together.We  still wish each other on b'days and have healthy conversation without the mention of past . Theres  no bitterness , and the unbelievable fact we never had an argument in 5years of association forget the fights,such was the beauty of that relationship that i shall always cherish.My second relationship did not last for more than few months ,he became too obsessed , alcholic which led me to break free from that relationship and i swore never again. but being a human being we all hunt for love atleast i do.for me love is the ultimate which is extremely difficult to get unless you are the blessed one.

From what ever i have learnt the most important thing i feel is one needs to learn to give in love not demand , for that matter any relationship when it becomes too demanding it does not last and love is a very sensitive issue an emotional experience  . Love is giving not  receiving the moment you stop expecting and things fall in your platter on its own .
 Set free your partner dont try to hold him or her, it leads to nothing but suffocation and if your partner truly loves you , he or she will never cheat on you and if one does then theres no point of being in that relationship, a relationship has to have a strong bonding based on trust and honesty .I would also like to add if someone promises to change or mend ways , please dont trust  "people dont change." And please please please if ever you find your partner cheating on you break free from that relationship dont wait for your kids to grow up,they will get what they are entitled to , once a liar is always a liar and i feel once a cheater is always a cheater,at least thats what i learnt from my experience,though i always told him "if you fall out of love with me let me know,we shall part ways amicably" But neither he told me nor he changed and 13 years of my youth ,passed away sulking for the fact i knew he was involved with other women but never admitted instead gave me and my daughter hard time so that i leave him on my own.
One should avoid criticising your partner ,always try to put it across gently through conversation to improve upon or what you like or dislike rather than indulging in to criticising. Always criticise the situation that led your partner behave like that, its always situations and circumstances that develop our personality, no one is good or bad so lets not be judgemental.
 Avoid argument or retaliate in fights- as much as possible , choose silence rather than reacting or retaliate in a fight, try to maintain calm believe me it works,i often say "silence is the best killer",let the other partner pour out , honestly wear ear plugs or listen to music while the other partner is fuming.you can always talk it out once the situation is better.
 Look at the positive side of your partner rather than the negative , the more negative you see the more negative it would appear to be.
Last but not least respect for each other and space is very important.

photo credit  stockphoto.com

Quotes by Winston S. Churchill ( I )

The political history of the 20th century can be written as the biographies of six men: Lenin, Stalin, Hitler, Mao Zedong, Franklin Roosevelt and Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill. The first four were totalitarians who made or used revolutions to create monstrous dictatorships.

Roosevelt and Churchill differed from them in being democrats. And Churchill differed from Roosevelt - while both were war leaders, Churchill was uniquely stirred by the challenge of war and found his fulfillment in leading the democracies to victory.                              

                                     

 

                                     1874- 1965

 

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”
 

“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”

 

“Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.”
 

“Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened.”

 

“You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.”

 

“My tastes are simple: I am easily satisfied with the best.”

 

“If you are going through hell, keep going.”

 

“A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.”

 

“History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.”
 

“Never, never, never give in!”

 

photo credit picsearch.com

I have nothing to lose

I got really moved by the mail i received from a friend who is a loner like me ,it got me thinking we all have a way of pouring  our hearts out in one form or the other.Some of us take refuge in nature,some of us  talk to ourselves which i do quite often and some of us have a company of imaginary friends .But loneliness , i feel is one of the gifts conferred by  god. Such people are blessed with expression and are able to communicate feelings through their words pretty well . No matter how lonely i feel at times , but yet am a very happy person focused on what i want in life , as i have no distractions .My time belongs to me,i am not answerable to any one except myself.I am fearless,not scared of dark,nor scared of losing any thing as i have nothing to lose.I strongly believe we all come naked and alone and thats how we are going to go so have no attachments .I have my own set of friends and those are my plants , my love for dogs and nature , my inquisitive mind which is always searching and what ever little knowledge i gain , i share on my blogs . My blogger friends,though i may not know them personally but they sure would wonder about my disappearance when i am gone.And with time the memories fade away,so will mine. Ireally don't know if there is life after death but like every one i do desire to know how does one feel when one takes his last breath and the final destination of our soul , if it really exists.and here are the excerpts of the mail which made me write this post.

Got up quite late (was about 7 am) and by 8.30 was on the treadmill.
I was sweating as hell by now and had covered about 6 km. It was at that moment that I understood the meaning of God is in everything and everything is in God.
What happened at this moment? As I ran across the treadmill I felt a vibration. A movement. Everything was in focus and was clear. I was a part of the treadmill, of the walls around me. Of all the animate and inanimate things around me. I was them and they were me. I was a part of God.
Because of my restricted intellect I had to give God a name...a form. I imagined the entire universe....the entire cosmos...almost like from the outside...but then there is no outside....because God encompasses everything. But I still needed to see him. I visualised him as Krishna. The blue skinned prince. Reclining. Consisting of all the billions of stars and suns and black holes and gas and dust and rock and me and you. There I was in God's loving embrace. In his lap as he nurtured me. Fed me the milk of life from his breast. I was he and he was me. I learnt that I needed to love myself because I am a part of him and if I love myself then in turn I love him.
I needed to nurture the fields that belong to him, because they are him and if I nurture them I will be doing my duty towards him. I must make a beautiful garden this year. My only duty towards him is to love him. He does not want me to pray nor enact any rituals. What duty am I talking about? All I need to do is to love myself and that is all.
Who am I? What is my life? The 50 long years that I have lived what do they mean. Will my soul survive my body?
My soul will survive my body. In God. He will have seen me and seen through me and experienced me and experienced through me because he is a part of me and I of him. My soul will continue to be with him. After my body has gone. In what form? That I don't know. Maybe in his memories or as a part of his eternal vibration. A part of his OM. I don't know and probably won't understand.
My 50 years are not even a tick on his watch. Because he is eternal.
I visualised him again. Serene, calm, smiling. He caressed my hair.
How am I to communicate with him? I needed something. I decided to use a sound...OM. I imagined it to be the sound of celestial vibration. The sound of God at work.
I lay in his lap for quite some time. I forgot my hate and my loathing for her. She was no longer my God. I had found my true God. I gave myself up to him. I took responsibility for all my actions and for whatever had happened in my life. I decided to live and be a part of what I believe is true.
I am in control again. Of my life, of my destiny. I don't need to blame anyone for my misfortunes. It was God's way of giving me a whack on my butt and letting me know who the real boss is.
God is life itself and life is God.
Amen.

photo credit photo bucket.com

Why is Wikipedia blacked-out?

 
Any information i dial JUSTDIAL Services ,  for a word and its meaning i dont look up my dictionary , any knoweldge i seek i dont go to a book store , from any thing to everything i depend on WIKIPEDIA,An Online Encyclopedia . Since morning i have been trying to look for one word substitution for "mother of pearl"but failed. After several attempts i recalled the news that i had heard yesterday ,which said something about Wikipedia Blackout in protest of SOPA and PIPA bills which are either due or have been passed by  US Govt i am not too sure).  i rembered having seen some new window open up instead of  Wikipedia in all my attempts and out of curiocity i went back to search again , and what i found ,though does not concern me but certainly affects not only me but most of us who search this particular encyclopedia for the info so i decided to share the contents ,with all of you . (copy pasted from wikipedia)

 

Imagine a World
Without Free Knowledge

For over a decade, we have spent millions of hours building the largest encyclopedia in human history. Right now, the U.S. Congress is considering legislation that could fatally damage the free and open Internet. For 24 hours, to raise awareness, we are blacking out Wikipedia. Learn more.

Make your voice heard...

Why is Wikipedia blacked-out?

Wikipedia is protesting against SOPA and PIPA by blacking out the English Wikipedia for 24 hours, beginning at midnight January 18, Eastern Time. Readers who come to English Wikipedia during the blackout will not be able to read the encyclopedia. Instead, you will see messages intended to raise awareness about SOPA and PIPA, encouraging you to share your views with your representatives, and with each other on social media.

What are SOPA and PIPA?

SOPA and PIPA represent two bills in the United States House of Representatives and the United States Senate respectively. SOPA is short for the "Stop Online Piracy Act," and PIPA is an acronym for the "Protect IP Act." ("IP" stands for "intellectual property.") In short, these bills are efforts to stop copyright infringement committed by foreign web sites, but, in our opinion, they do so in a way that actually infringes free expression while harming the Internet. Detailed information about these bills can be found in the Stop Online Piracy Act and PROTECT IP Act articles on Wikipedia, which are available during the blackout. GovTrack lets you follow both bills through the legislative process: SOPA on this page, and PIPA on this one. The Electronic Frontier Foundation, a non-profit organization dedicated to advocating for the public interest in the digital realm, has summarized why these bills are simply unacceptable in a world that values an open, secure, and free Internet.

Why is the blackout happening?

Wikipedians have chosen to black out the English Wikipedia for the first time ever, because we are concerned that SOPA and PIPA will severely inhibit people's access to online information. This is not a problem that will solely affect people in the United States: it will affect everyone around the world.

Why? SOPA and PIPA are badly drafted legislation that won't be effective at their stated goal (to stop copyright infringement), and will cause serious damage to the free and open Internet. They put the burden on website owners to police user-contributed material and call for the unnecessary blocking of entire sites. Small sites won't have sufficient resources to defend themselves. Big media companies may seek to cut off funding sources for their foreign competitors, even if copyright isn't being infringed. Foreign sites will be blacklisted, which means they won't show up in major search engines. And, SOPA and PIPA build a framework for future restrictions and suppression.

Does this mean that Wikipedia itself is violating copyright laws, or hosting pirated content?

No, not at all. Some supporters of SOPA and PIPA characterize everyone who opposes them as cavalier about copyright, but that is not accurate. Wikipedians are knowledgeable about copyright and vigilant in protecting against violations: Wikipedians spend thousands of hours every week reviewing and removing infringing content. We are careful about it because our mission is to share knowledge freely. To that end, all Wikipedians release their contributions under a free license, and all the material we offer is freely licensed. Free licenses are incompatible with copyright infringement, and so infringement is not tolerated.

Isn't SOPA dead? Wasn't the bill shelved, and didn't the White House declare that it won't sign anything that resembles the current bill?

No, neither SOPA nor PIPA is dead. On January 17th, SOPA's sponsor said the bill will be discussed in early February. There are signs PIPA may be debated on the Senate floor next week. Moreover, SOPA and PIPA are just indicators of a much broader problem. In many jurisdictions around the world, we're seeing the development of legislation that prioritizes overly-broad copyright enforcement laws, laws promoted by power players, over the preservation of individual civil liberties.

How could SOPA and PIPA hurt Wikipedia?

SOPA and PIPA are a threat to Wikipedia in many ways. For example, in its current form, SOPA would require Wikipedia to actively monitor every site we link to, to ensure it doesn't host infringing content. Any link to an infringing site could put us in jeopardy of being forced offline.

I live in the United States. What's the best way for me to help?

The most effective action you can take is to call your representatives and tell them you oppose SOPA and PIPA, and any similar legislation. Type your zipcode in the locator box to find your representatives' contact information. Text-based communication is okay, but phone calls have the most impact.

I don't live in the United States. How can I help?

Contact your local State Department, Ministry of Foreign Affairs, or similar branch of government. Tell them you oppose SOPA and PIPA, and any similar legislation. SOPA and PIPA will affect sites outside of the United States, and actions to sites inside the United States (like Wikipedia) will also affect non-American readers -- like you. Calling your own government will also let them know you don't want them to create their own bad anti-Internet legislation.

Is it still possible to access Wikipedia in any way?

Yes. During the blackout, Wikipedia is accessible on mobile devices and smart phones. You can also view Wikipedia normally by disabling JavaScript in your browser, as explained on this Technical FAQ page. Our purpose here isn't to make it completely impossible for people to read Wikipedia, and it's okay for you to circumvent the blackout. We just want to make sure you see our message.

I keep hearing that this is a fight between Hollywood and Silicon Valley. Is that true?

No. Some people are characterizing it that way, probably in an effort to imply all the participants are motivated by commercial self-interest. But it's obviously not that simple. The proof of that is Wikipedia's involvement. Wikipedia has no financial self-interest at play here: we do not benefit from copyright infringement, nor are we trying to monetize traffic or sell ads. We are protesting to raise awareness about SOPA and PIPA solely because we think they will hurt the Internet, and your ability to access information online. We are doing this for you, because we're on your side.

In carrying out this protest, is Wikipedia abandoning neutrality?

We hope you continue to trust Wikipedia to be a neutral information source. We are staging this blackout because (as Wikimedia Foundation Trustee Kat Walsh said recently), although Wikipedia’s articles are neutral, its existence is not. For over a decade, Wikipedians have spent millions of hours building the largest encyclopedia in human history. Wikipedia is a tremendously useful resource, and its existence depends upon a free, open and uncensored Internet. SOPA and PIPA (and other similar laws under discussion inside and outside the United States) will hurt you, because they will make it impossible for sites you enjoy, and benefit from, to continue to exist. That's why we're doing this.

I have a question that isn't answered here, or, I would like to send feedback to Wikipedia.

You can reach Wikipedia editors at info-en(at)wikimedia(dot)org. If you need a response, please be patient: we may have trouble keeping up with the mail

Fatwa against Surya Namaskara(Sun Salutation)

The huge furore of some people and a Fatwa against yoga came  as a shock to me and i am sure many more must have felt the same. The way some people have given Yoga a religious colour and branded it unislamic is totally unwarranted , nothing but intolerance .I watched the debate on National Television and to my surprise,according to one gentleman  Surya Nanmaskara was worship of Sun,which  is not allowed in their religion,where as its a mere exercise to strengthen  the core .Wanted to tell him, Yoga is Indian and has got nothing to do with any religion .

Surya Namaskara, known in English as Sun Salutation , is a common sequence of Hatha yoga asanas. . This sequence of movements and poses can be practised on varying levels of awareness, ranging from that of physical exercise in various styles..
The physical base of the Practice links together twelve asanas in a dynamically performed series. These asanas are ordered so that they alternately stretch the spine backwards and forwards. When performed in the usual way, each asana is moved into with alternate inhalation and exhalation (except for the sixth asana where the breath is held in external suspension). A full round of Surya namaskara is considered to be two sets of the twelve poses with a change in the second set to moving the opposite leg first through the series.
Some proponents of the use of Surya namaskara as part of the modern yoga tradition prefer to perform it at sunrise, which is considered to be the most  favorable  time of the day does not mean offering prayers to the Sun .

photo credit Kulkarni's Surya Namaskara