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Sunday 1 January 2012

why do men and women stray in relationships


Few years back i had opined a different view about men , this is when i separated and was newly exposed to rude realities of life, until then i really did not think much about it at all. During my college days the list of my friends comprised  of  mostly boys as i would get on better with them.But one bitter truth and no exposure forced me to believe in a common version about men " all men  are the same "i became so against men that i began to search behind the man's eyes in case i felt he was being  too sweet and kind to me .
I am not here, trying to categorise men but men do stray so do women , at times i try to analyse various reasons for men and women to go outside the marriage , i may be wrong in my analysis and welcome you to make your point and give your opinion as well .Being in a business which gives me a lot of opportunity to interact with my clients(mostly men though) and due to long association with their family members i get an insight of several relationships which  enlightens me on this subject.
Men due to their natural instincts have  craving for a change which may not be common with all of them but it is a natural phenomena and they are able to hold themselves from indulging in such an activity  due to society pressures but they at times they do get carried away, where as women are concerned this kind of indulgence is more heard of and common in present generation due to exposure , availability of opportunities and sources and in young girls for heck of it.
All over the world men and women do get in to a legal matrimony as well as relationships but several of them are found straying . There is a strong need of understanding,wave length, compatibility (it has to be in ideas,food habits and in bed is equally important ) respect for each other to make a relationship or a marriage work.Most of the times i have found men feeling suffocated with nonstop calls from their inquisitive partners , trying to keep a check on them ,and have often wondered  why get married or get into a relationship at all if you do not know your man ?? Here i would like to mention one of my clients wife who always complained about her husband, but on my suggestion that "she should get over with her marriage than sulking all the time" she replied  "i thought i will take it and enjoy the luxuries and status that at my disposal "  really surprise and forced me to think ,  we as women should either take a firm stand else don't ponder on the miseries  Trust has to be a foundation of any relationship i feel , one should take time to know each other so well that you can trust each other blindly than suffocating your partner to the extent that he or she is forced to indulge into something which he or she may not intend to.Several times i have seen men and women lying to their partners about their whereabouts, so keeping a tab ultimately leads to lies and frustration . And in a woman's case i feel they need a lot of attention and appreciation from a man and due to absence of care in a relationship and a marriage they tend to seek it outside the marriage or relationship.The balance in both the cases is very important. But at the same time one must not ignore the pressures one faces in and out side the house. Criticism and abuse is not at all acceptable in both the cases.Apart from the points mentioned above there are factors like weak characters, fatal attraction, fun for heck of it that induces both
to indulge into one night stands or extra marital relationships or two timing while dating someone , which i feel one needs to close eyes on . Such incidents with the kind of exposure this generation has , the  clubbing culture,social networking sites,dating sites,drinking and getting carried away ,which is a norm of open society does make cheating easier and encourage situations like one night stand.
Men and women both if working have better opportunities at their disposal as compared to the rest , but fulfilment at home makes one stronger to have a strong hold on oneself.Several times i have seen girls and women use men for their financial needs and in return get used by them which is quite evident.there is no scarcity of women and girls who don't mind going out with a man for mutual benefits and if such girls and women were not available in the society the choice for a man would certainly narrow down .Particularly the women who get involved with married men breaking the others home is condemnable, so lets not just blame men , women are equally responsible in this particular case.  .
Conclusion:  one who has to cheat will cheat and one who doesn't want to cheat will never cheat ,opportunity or no opportunity doesn't matter and depends on the inner strength one has .In my opinion in to today's time your partner loves you is what should matter to you rest everything one needs to leave behind .

2 comments:

  1. relationships are so complicated! sigh!

    woh client ki wife & her reply stunned me - keep the husband for the luxuries!!! kya yaar :((

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  2. very true sujatha one of he most complicated things in the world r relationships..and if u sit with me and hear the kahanis i have to tell of sooooooo many people u will actually need a disprin..this clients wife was nothing their are soooooooooooo many instances so many things that happen..ufffff dont ask....

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