rooh

  
This post is dedicate to blogger friend AmitAag and inspired by his word in my comment box.
         " deep frm my heart " in response to "Odyssey"

   

aap kaya samjhen ge gum hamara...aap toe is rooh se waqif nahin....dil to dhadkta hai hamara......aawaz us mein aati nahin...humari  muskurahat ke peeche chupa hai gum...jo aap samajh pate nahin

boo na lag jaye kisi ko is dil ki...hum paas kisi ke aate nahin...nazren jhuka chal deten hain hum.....bus muskura deten hain hum.....aap samajh paate nahin

          didaar karva diya jis din hum ne apne dil ka....aap seh na paao ge.....hum kaya tadpte hain
          aap bhi tadap jao ge..   ..kahin kaamp na jaye aap ki rooh , kuch aisa soch hum apna gum
           batate  nahin....aur aap samajh pate nahin.
      
 copyright (c)alka narula
          photo credit blogs.indiwire.com

The past is imperfect-future looks perfect

 "Mother, am I your love or the reason for all that is painful in your life or am I your liability? I am not the fruit of your love; I came to this world owing to your profession. I don't blame you for this, but today we are examples of how daily necessities push one to take a beaten track. You are my mother, this is as true as another bitter truth - neither you nor I know who my father is..." excerpt of a poem by Madhav Ramanuj

 

  Sunday, history was  made as eight girls from the villageWADIA VILLAGE (BANASKANTHA) GUJRAT:  got married in a mass wedding for the first time and left their mother's profession behind forever under full support from the state govt . This hamlet of North Gujarat has been known for prostitution since pre-Independence days. Most men of the village openly solicit clients for their women.There have been many attempts to bring the women of this village out of prostitution, but due to the high acceptance among their own community, the women were pushed back into the fold. The girls were not considered marriage material since they carried the stamp of being daughters of prostitutes.    Those who consider themselves respectable  generally stayed away from this village known for prostitution, But on Sunday, all roads led to this dusty hamlet as it made history. For the first time after Independence one heard the wedding bells in the village. The village, which is infamous for housing sex workers, made a clean break on Sunday. The first mass marriage at this village which, till date, had resisted all attempts to change marked the dawn of a new era. .People of Deesa  donated ceremonial gifts for each girl. People finally embraced change . The invitation cards were sent out with beautiful,heart felt words of poetry( excerpts given on top ) by famous Gujrati Poet Madhav Ramanuj

a child known by fathers name??

Updated: Mon, 20 Feb 2012 0:29 IST

Father’s name not must for passport: HC
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Utkarsh Anand : New Delhi, Mon Feb 28 2011, 00:17 hrs

A single mother’s determination in procuring a passport for her daughter without having to mention the father’s name on the document, led the Delhi High Court to announce what is likely to be hailed as a progressive ruling
                                                
                                      .
  i have always said " we were not made for each other " rather than putting it as " he was not a good husband "  but at the same time, i cant stop from saying " he could not make a good father ".A man who compromised a childs love for another woman ,a father who never tried to get in touch with his own blood is something , i have not been able to come to terms with till date. Such was the pain that we experienced  his name is not pronounced in our house ,  he is HE for us , not a single picture of him in our house nor a single thing that would remind us of him . Both of us dropped his name after my divorce nor we wanted his name to be used in any of our documents like passport,or driving licence etc etc ,which was quite easy for me as i could use my fathers name but it was a major issue in my daughters case ,as in certain documents fathers name was a must,but my daughter wanted to be known as her mothers daugher and not her fathers daughter.Several times ,i would fill up forms stating my status as single and would mention , "daughter 1 No " in childrens column, which actually raised several eyebrows and a couple of times i argued  "why ,cant a single woman have a child" on being asked   "ma'm you are single but you mentioned you have a child" .i would see a wierd look on their face while they thought and would agree to the point i was trying to put across. I always questioned why a child be known by its fathers name,what about single mothers ? and i srongly felt there that a child should have an option to use either mothers or fathers name ,when both parents make equal contribution to bring a new life in this world why cant a child use the name of his choice or an option of mothers name be given to the child ,many may not agree with me but it seems quite okay to me.Well ,the biggest challenge for us now was to wipe out his name from our life and you may call it sheer luck or what so ever we managed to do so by writing my name in place of both mothers and fathers name.the first thing she got was her pan card with her mothers name printed on it followed by her driving licence and rest of the documents. I felt so relieved by the news of high court ruling,that fathers name is not a must in passport form in 2011 but surprisingly  we are still stuck on the passport as the agents are still not accepting the form without the mention of fathers name , i thought i probably can attach the news print out and submit the form . i appreciate advice on this issue.

photo credit indyeah
logo credit The Indian Express
                    journalism of courage

lessons from relationships

i am not here to preach but share what so ever i learnt from my life and particularly relationships.I experienced a sudden change in my life when i got married and came to stay in Delhi.Different people,different place , different culture and of course a different family. Until my marriage i knew nothing about caste , creed and culture ,for me only hindu,muslims and kashmiris were the three castes that existed . I would certainly like to share what i feel about diverse castes but would like to share about my learning from a broken  marriage and a couple of relationships i have had . when i look back and think of my married life i realise my marriage worked till the point i was not demanding , non demanding to the the extent if we had a flat tyre ,he would sit on the pavement and watch me change the tyre of the car and i still remember the day when it poured heavily , our apartment was flooded with water due to a blocked drain in the balcony, without giving it a second  thought  i went down,caught hold of a ladder ,climbed up and tried cleaning the blocked water pipe. I got drenched in rain while he watched me struggle open the block from the balcony ,that was the moment i got really pissed off and began to even hate his smile.There are many more such instances which i would not want to go into details , neither do i want to blame him but i blame myself for having created such a situation where a man became a woman and i started playing the role of a man.being a tom boy i was used to that kind of lifestyle which i continued living even after marriage ,  it gave me sense of achievement ,sense of my strength as a girl who was not dependent on a man , probably my bringing up made all the difference (being 5sisters no brother we  grew up into selfdependent girls)But that certainly did not lead to my divorce  , it was his extra marital affairs that led me to walk out on him  and i have no regrets about it , except that i married a guy who did not deserve me at all , probably i was too young when i fell in love for the first time(though i call it infatuation now) i was merely an 18yr old girl.Before i move away from the point i am trying to make , no matter how good or bad experience was my marriage for me but i learnt a few lessons which i am about to share and are important to make a relationship work . I would certainly want to mention my relationships as they were learning experience for me .  I broke off from 1st relationship on my will , one fine day i decided to walk out on him as i felt we had no future together and  we were getting no where,but till date he loves me though i dont love him any more but yes i do respect him and think of the time spent together.We  still wish each other on b'days and have healthy conversation without the mention of past . Theres  no bitterness , and the unbelievable fact we never had an argument in 5years of association forget the fights,such was the beauty of that relationship that i shall always cherish.My second relationship did not last for more than few months ,he became too obsessed , alcholic which led me to break free from that relationship and i swore never again. but being a human being we all hunt for love atleast i do.for me love is the ultimate which is extremely difficult to get unless you are the blessed one.

From what ever i have learnt the most important thing i feel is one needs to learn to give in love not demand , for that matter any relationship when it becomes too demanding it does not last and love is a very sensitive issue an emotional experience  . Love is giving not  receiving the moment you stop expecting and things fall in your platter on its own .
 Set free your partner dont try to hold him or her, it leads to nothing but suffocation and if your partner truly loves you , he or she will never cheat on you and if one does then theres no point of being in that relationship, a relationship has to have a strong bonding based on trust and honesty .I would also like to add if someone promises to change or mend ways , please dont trust  "people dont change." And please please please if ever you find your partner cheating on you break free from that relationship dont wait for your kids to grow up,they will get what they are entitled to , once a liar is always a liar and i feel once a cheater is always a cheater,at least thats what i learnt from my experience,though i always told him "if you fall out of love with me let me know,we shall part ways amicably" But neither he told me nor he changed and 13 years of my youth ,passed away sulking for the fact i knew he was involved with other women but never admitted instead gave me and my daughter hard time so that i leave him on my own.
One should avoid criticising your partner ,always try to put it across gently through conversation to improve upon or what you like or dislike rather than indulging in to criticising. Always criticise the situation that led your partner behave like that, its always situations and circumstances that develop our personality, no one is good or bad so lets not be judgemental.
 Avoid argument or retaliate in fights- as much as possible , choose silence rather than reacting or retaliate in a fight, try to maintain calm believe me it works,i often say "silence is the best killer",let the other partner pour out , honestly wear ear plugs or listen to music while the other partner is fuming.you can always talk it out once the situation is better.
 Look at the positive side of your partner rather than the negative , the more negative you see the more negative it would appear to be.
Last but not least respect for each other and space is very important.

photo credit  stockphoto.com

Quotes by Winston S. Churchill ( I )

The political history of the 20th century can be written as the biographies of six men: Lenin, Stalin, Hitler, Mao Zedong, Franklin Roosevelt and Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill. The first four were totalitarians who made or used revolutions to create monstrous dictatorships.

Roosevelt and Churchill differed from them in being democrats. And Churchill differed from Roosevelt - while both were war leaders, Churchill was uniquely stirred by the challenge of war and found his fulfillment in leading the democracies to victory.                              

                                     

 

                                     1874- 1965

 

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”
 

“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”

 

“Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.”
 

“Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened.”

 

“You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.”

 

“My tastes are simple: I am easily satisfied with the best.”

 

“If you are going through hell, keep going.”

 

“A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.”

 

“History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.”
 

“Never, never, never give in!”

 

photo credit picsearch.com

I have nothing to lose

I got really moved by the mail i received from a friend who is a loner like me ,it got me thinking we all have a way of pouring  our hearts out in one form or the other.Some of us take refuge in nature,some of us  talk to ourselves which i do quite often and some of us have a company of imaginary friends .But loneliness , i feel is one of the gifts conferred by  god. Such people are blessed with expression and are able to communicate feelings through their words pretty well . No matter how lonely i feel at times , but yet am a very happy person focused on what i want in life , as i have no distractions .My time belongs to me,i am not answerable to any one except myself.I am fearless,not scared of dark,nor scared of losing any thing as i have nothing to lose.I strongly believe we all come naked and alone and thats how we are going to go so have no attachments .I have my own set of friends and those are my plants , my love for dogs and nature , my inquisitive mind which is always searching and what ever little knowledge i gain , i share on my blogs . My blogger friends,though i may not know them personally but they sure would wonder about my disappearance when i am gone.And with time the memories fade away,so will mine. Ireally don't know if there is life after death but like every one i do desire to know how does one feel when one takes his last breath and the final destination of our soul , if it really exists.and here are the excerpts of the mail which made me write this post.

Got up quite late (was about 7 am) and by 8.30 was on the treadmill.
I was sweating as hell by now and had covered about 6 km. It was at that moment that I understood the meaning of God is in everything and everything is in God.
What happened at this moment? As I ran across the treadmill I felt a vibration. A movement. Everything was in focus and was clear. I was a part of the treadmill, of the walls around me. Of all the animate and inanimate things around me. I was them and they were me. I was a part of God.
Because of my restricted intellect I had to give God a name...a form. I imagined the entire universe....the entire cosmos...almost like from the outside...but then there is no outside....because God encompasses everything. But I still needed to see him. I visualised him as Krishna. The blue skinned prince. Reclining. Consisting of all the billions of stars and suns and black holes and gas and dust and rock and me and you. There I was in God's loving embrace. In his lap as he nurtured me. Fed me the milk of life from his breast. I was he and he was me. I learnt that I needed to love myself because I am a part of him and if I love myself then in turn I love him.
I needed to nurture the fields that belong to him, because they are him and if I nurture them I will be doing my duty towards him. I must make a beautiful garden this year. My only duty towards him is to love him. He does not want me to pray nor enact any rituals. What duty am I talking about? All I need to do is to love myself and that is all.
Who am I? What is my life? The 50 long years that I have lived what do they mean. Will my soul survive my body?
My soul will survive my body. In God. He will have seen me and seen through me and experienced me and experienced through me because he is a part of me and I of him. My soul will continue to be with him. After my body has gone. In what form? That I don't know. Maybe in his memories or as a part of his eternal vibration. A part of his OM. I don't know and probably won't understand.
My 50 years are not even a tick on his watch. Because he is eternal.
I visualised him again. Serene, calm, smiling. He caressed my hair.
How am I to communicate with him? I needed something. I decided to use a sound...OM. I imagined it to be the sound of celestial vibration. The sound of God at work.
I lay in his lap for quite some time. I forgot my hate and my loathing for her. She was no longer my God. I had found my true God. I gave myself up to him. I took responsibility for all my actions and for whatever had happened in my life. I decided to live and be a part of what I believe is true.
I am in control again. Of my life, of my destiny. I don't need to blame anyone for my misfortunes. It was God's way of giving me a whack on my butt and letting me know who the real boss is.
God is life itself and life is God.
Amen.

photo credit photo bucket.com

Why is Wikipedia blacked-out?

 
Any information i dial JUSTDIAL Services ,  for a word and its meaning i dont look up my dictionary , any knoweldge i seek i dont go to a book store , from any thing to everything i depend on WIKIPEDIA,An Online Encyclopedia . Since morning i have been trying to look for one word substitution for "mother of pearl"but failed. After several attempts i recalled the news that i had heard yesterday ,which said something about Wikipedia Blackout in protest of SOPA and PIPA bills which are either due or have been passed by  US Govt i am not too sure).  i rembered having seen some new window open up instead of  Wikipedia in all my attempts and out of curiocity i went back to search again , and what i found ,though does not concern me but certainly affects not only me but most of us who search this particular encyclopedia for the info so i decided to share the contents ,with all of you . (copy pasted from wikipedia)

 

Imagine a World
Without Free Knowledge

For over a decade, we have spent millions of hours building the largest encyclopedia in human history. Right now, the U.S. Congress is considering legislation that could fatally damage the free and open Internet. For 24 hours, to raise awareness, we are blacking out Wikipedia. Learn more.

Make your voice heard...

Why is Wikipedia blacked-out?

Wikipedia is protesting against SOPA and PIPA by blacking out the English Wikipedia for 24 hours, beginning at midnight January 18, Eastern Time. Readers who come to English Wikipedia during the blackout will not be able to read the encyclopedia. Instead, you will see messages intended to raise awareness about SOPA and PIPA, encouraging you to share your views with your representatives, and with each other on social media.

What are SOPA and PIPA?

SOPA and PIPA represent two bills in the United States House of Representatives and the United States Senate respectively. SOPA is short for the "Stop Online Piracy Act," and PIPA is an acronym for the "Protect IP Act." ("IP" stands for "intellectual property.") In short, these bills are efforts to stop copyright infringement committed by foreign web sites, but, in our opinion, they do so in a way that actually infringes free expression while harming the Internet. Detailed information about these bills can be found in the Stop Online Piracy Act and PROTECT IP Act articles on Wikipedia, which are available during the blackout. GovTrack lets you follow both bills through the legislative process: SOPA on this page, and PIPA on this one. The Electronic Frontier Foundation, a non-profit organization dedicated to advocating for the public interest in the digital realm, has summarized why these bills are simply unacceptable in a world that values an open, secure, and free Internet.

Why is the blackout happening?

Wikipedians have chosen to black out the English Wikipedia for the first time ever, because we are concerned that SOPA and PIPA will severely inhibit people's access to online information. This is not a problem that will solely affect people in the United States: it will affect everyone around the world.

Why? SOPA and PIPA are badly drafted legislation that won't be effective at their stated goal (to stop copyright infringement), and will cause serious damage to the free and open Internet. They put the burden on website owners to police user-contributed material and call for the unnecessary blocking of entire sites. Small sites won't have sufficient resources to defend themselves. Big media companies may seek to cut off funding sources for their foreign competitors, even if copyright isn't being infringed. Foreign sites will be blacklisted, which means they won't show up in major search engines. And, SOPA and PIPA build a framework for future restrictions and suppression.

Does this mean that Wikipedia itself is violating copyright laws, or hosting pirated content?

No, not at all. Some supporters of SOPA and PIPA characterize everyone who opposes them as cavalier about copyright, but that is not accurate. Wikipedians are knowledgeable about copyright and vigilant in protecting against violations: Wikipedians spend thousands of hours every week reviewing and removing infringing content. We are careful about it because our mission is to share knowledge freely. To that end, all Wikipedians release their contributions under a free license, and all the material we offer is freely licensed. Free licenses are incompatible with copyright infringement, and so infringement is not tolerated.

Isn't SOPA dead? Wasn't the bill shelved, and didn't the White House declare that it won't sign anything that resembles the current bill?

No, neither SOPA nor PIPA is dead. On January 17th, SOPA's sponsor said the bill will be discussed in early February. There are signs PIPA may be debated on the Senate floor next week. Moreover, SOPA and PIPA are just indicators of a much broader problem. In many jurisdictions around the world, we're seeing the development of legislation that prioritizes overly-broad copyright enforcement laws, laws promoted by power players, over the preservation of individual civil liberties.

How could SOPA and PIPA hurt Wikipedia?

SOPA and PIPA are a threat to Wikipedia in many ways. For example, in its current form, SOPA would require Wikipedia to actively monitor every site we link to, to ensure it doesn't host infringing content. Any link to an infringing site could put us in jeopardy of being forced offline.

I live in the United States. What's the best way for me to help?

The most effective action you can take is to call your representatives and tell them you oppose SOPA and PIPA, and any similar legislation. Type your zipcode in the locator box to find your representatives' contact information. Text-based communication is okay, but phone calls have the most impact.

I don't live in the United States. How can I help?

Contact your local State Department, Ministry of Foreign Affairs, or similar branch of government. Tell them you oppose SOPA and PIPA, and any similar legislation. SOPA and PIPA will affect sites outside of the United States, and actions to sites inside the United States (like Wikipedia) will also affect non-American readers -- like you. Calling your own government will also let them know you don't want them to create their own bad anti-Internet legislation.

Is it still possible to access Wikipedia in any way?

Yes. During the blackout, Wikipedia is accessible on mobile devices and smart phones. You can also view Wikipedia normally by disabling JavaScript in your browser, as explained on this Technical FAQ page. Our purpose here isn't to make it completely impossible for people to read Wikipedia, and it's okay for you to circumvent the blackout. We just want to make sure you see our message.

I keep hearing that this is a fight between Hollywood and Silicon Valley. Is that true?

No. Some people are characterizing it that way, probably in an effort to imply all the participants are motivated by commercial self-interest. But it's obviously not that simple. The proof of that is Wikipedia's involvement. Wikipedia has no financial self-interest at play here: we do not benefit from copyright infringement, nor are we trying to monetize traffic or sell ads. We are protesting to raise awareness about SOPA and PIPA solely because we think they will hurt the Internet, and your ability to access information online. We are doing this for you, because we're on your side.

In carrying out this protest, is Wikipedia abandoning neutrality?

We hope you continue to trust Wikipedia to be a neutral information source. We are staging this blackout because (as Wikimedia Foundation Trustee Kat Walsh said recently), although Wikipedia’s articles are neutral, its existence is not. For over a decade, Wikipedians have spent millions of hours building the largest encyclopedia in human history. Wikipedia is a tremendously useful resource, and its existence depends upon a free, open and uncensored Internet. SOPA and PIPA (and other similar laws under discussion inside and outside the United States) will hurt you, because they will make it impossible for sites you enjoy, and benefit from, to continue to exist. That's why we're doing this.

I have a question that isn't answered here, or, I would like to send feedback to Wikipedia.

You can reach Wikipedia editors at info-en(at)wikimedia(dot)org. If you need a response, please be patient: we may have trouble keeping up with the mail

Fatwa against Surya Namaskara(Sun Salutation)

The huge furore of some people and a Fatwa against yoga came  as a shock to me and i am sure many more must have felt the same. The way some people have given Yoga a religious colour and branded it unislamic is totally unwarranted , nothing but intolerance .I watched the debate on National Television and to my surprise,according to one gentleman  Surya Nanmaskara was worship of Sun,which  is not allowed in their religion,where as its a mere exercise to strengthen  the core .Wanted to tell him, Yoga is Indian and has got nothing to do with any religion .

Surya Namaskara, known in English as Sun Salutation , is a common sequence of Hatha yoga asanas. . This sequence of movements and poses can be practised on varying levels of awareness, ranging from that of physical exercise in various styles..
The physical base of the Practice links together twelve asanas in a dynamically performed series. These asanas are ordered so that they alternately stretch the spine backwards and forwards. When performed in the usual way, each asana is moved into with alternate inhalation and exhalation (except for the sixth asana where the breath is held in external suspension). A full round of Surya namaskara is considered to be two sets of the twelve poses with a change in the second set to moving the opposite leg first through the series.
Some proponents of the use of Surya namaskara as part of the modern yoga tradition prefer to perform it at sunrise, which is considered to be the most  favorable  time of the day does not mean offering prayers to the Sun .

photo credit Kulkarni's Surya Namaskara

5 must follow vastu(architectural science) tips

Most of us at some point of time go through a lean phase in life and thats the time we all rush to astrologers,pundits and try to follow every possible tip available to get some relief. I too  experienced a similar situation when a friend of mine advised me on vastu shastra(architectural science) Not being a superstitious and religious person i have neither criticised or disrespected others beliefs but havealways tried  to seek logic behind their beliefs.Since i was going through a rough time i picked up a few books on Vastu studied them but could find no reasoning . In most of the books no logic was given but everything resulted in loss of money if one did not follow vastu shastra. some of it did make sense to me after i was able to  reason out the scientific logic behind it . i tried to follow what ever made sense to me until i met a learned person ,an expert in vastu from south India who had come to visit my clients factory office in Punjab.Incidentally i happened to be there and out of curiosity i asked him various questions and surprisingly he was able to convince me on most of them. and ever since then i  started believing in vastu which in other words is known as architectural science. Here i would like to share few of them with logic with all of you , in case you feel convinced you must follow it

ONE    -  why the house where one lives should be facing east ?

LOGIC- the sun rises from east and early morning sun is rich source of vitamin D , in the form of calciferol (vitamin D3) is a fat-soluble vitamin. It is found in food, but also can be made in your body after exposure to ultraviolet rays.

 TWO -   why there should be no leaking taps in the house ,does it result in loss of money ?

LOGIC - sounds ridiculous,but the logic is quite convincing,the constant tipping sound of water causes  irritation ,which unables us to think properly and any decision taken in irritation results in wrong decisions which could be at home or at work place,and the wrong decisions at work place make one lose money.

THREE -  why the master bed room should be in the south west corner of the house ?

LOGIC - due to earths magnetic field ,this area gets  the maximum energy which is passed on to us ,since the master of the house is responsible for all the major decisions and is the bread winner requires that energy to make best of it.

FOUR - why the elders in the hose should sleep with their head toward the south where as kids in east ?

LOGIC - our earth has two poles north and south according to vastu the head of a human body is considered north pole and toes the south,we very well know that the opposite poles attract where as similar repell.if we sleep with our head towards south, being  the opposite pole one is able to have a sound sleep where as if the similar poles are put together it  results in constant repell causing sleep less nights.

in case of children who are studying they are advised to sleep with their head towards east so that they can receive early morning rays of sun and the reason is explained in the 1st point mentioned above.

* one is advised sleep with their head towards east or south but never north and west.

FIVE -  why there should be no road  outside the south side of the house ?

LOGIC -no road in the south is advised as the sound of vehicles ,or honking can cause disturbance which might result in sleep less night which is quite logical.

*if  it does make sense to you do let me know i can share a lot more with you which you might find useful . 

photo credit shreedarshan.com

the magistrate from hell

 

judicial-activism.jpg

Today i saw the ugliest face of Indian judiciary and what power can do gone are the days when the judges were calm,just and unbiased.here is what happened i would appreciate advise on filing a complaint against a judge as well so feel free to give your feedback and advise.
i have a case against me under section 138 as i had made stop payment of  an advance cheque for which i received no goods and the supplier concerned filed a case in the court.Now  i entered the courtroom of saket district court new Delhi with my bailee . While my lawyer had gone to get  a bail bond  on the 1st hearing  my name was called out,i appeared in the court and  informed the judge ,who appeared to be 35years who sat on his chair like an autocrat.He told me to return with my lawyer as  i returned after10minutes  at 11.15am with my lawyer the judge told us to return at 12pm sharp so my lawyer left telling me he would be back at 11.45. while i waited at 11.25 my name was called again i appeared before the magistrate and told him that my lawyer is will  at 12pm as we were asked to come back at 12. He shocked me by banging my file on the table and said now you return at 12pm which once again we did and waited for the magistrate to return from his chambers till 12.30pm when he did not the bail papers along with the driving license and the car rc of my bailee was sent to his chamber when the license was returned we learnt that the magistrate had retained the rc of a car worth rupees 6lakh for a bail bond near rupees 10000 without even giving us a chance to fend for ourselves.Anyways we were told that we will receive a letter from the court saying the rc has been retained by the court in the meanwhile we should give our thumb impressions in the adjacent room for the bail bond where i was asked to give a bribe of rupees 500 to give our thumb impressions which  i refused and after threatening the concerned person with a complaint against him did he take our thumb impressions now the court letter.It was sent to the magistrate in his chamber which he refused to sign asking us to return again at 2pm to get the letter i had no option so i was there at the courtroom again at 2pm the magistrate entered the room at 2.37pm and signed the court letter while their was another lawyer standing before him requesting the magistrate to reopen the case he had dismissed in front of me the magistrate told the lawyer i am sorry mere se galti ho gai thi i assumed things but mein ab case dismiss karne baad re open nahi kar sakta..when i went outside their was another lawyer complaining about the same magistrate saying that he is not giving the next date to appear for his case..This magistrate was the worst example of justice by far the most arrogant and biased man i have come across.I honestly fear that he will pass a biased judgement in my own case as it is i dont want anyone to face the kind of harassment i have faced at the hands of the honourable metropolitan magistrate so i am going to fight and i am going to file a complaint along with the two lawyers outside the courtroom who wanted to file a complaint against him as well.Please do guide if you have any idea about how to go about it and your comments are always welcome

why do men and women stray in relationships

Few years back i had opined a different view about men , this is when i separated and was newly exposed to rude realities of life, until then i really did not think much about it at all. During my college days the list of my friends comprised  of  mostly boys as i would get on better with them.But one bitter truth and no exposure forced me to believe in a common version about men " all men  are the same "i became so against men that i began to search behind the man's eyes in case i felt he was being  too sweet and kind to me .
I am not here, trying to categorise men but men do stray so do women , at times i try to analyse various reasons for men and women to go outside the marriage , i may be wrong in my analysis and welcome you to make your point and give your opinion as well .Being in a business which gives me a lot of opportunity to interact with my clients(mostly men though) and due to long association with their family members i get an insight of several relationships which  enlightens me on this subject.
Men due to their natural instincts have  craving for a change which may not be common with all of them but it is a natural phenomena and they are able to hold themselves from indulging in such an activity  due to society pressures but they at times they do get carried away, where as women are concerned this kind of indulgence is more heard of and common in present generation due to exposure , availability of opportunities and sources and in young girls for heck of it.
All over the world men and women do get in to a legal matrimony as well as relationships but several of them are found straying . There is a strong need of understanding,wave length, compatibility (it has to be in ideas,food habits and in bed is equally important ) respect for each other to make a relationship or a marriage work.Most of the times i have found men feeling suffocated with nonstop calls from their inquisitive partners , trying to keep a check on them ,and have often wondered  why get married or get into a relationship at all if you do not know your man ?? Here i would like to mention one of my clients wife who always complained about her husband, but on my suggestion that "she should get over with her marriage than sulking all the time" she replied  "i thought i will take it and enjoy the luxuries and status that at my disposal "  really surprise and forced me to think ,  we as women should either take a firm stand else don't ponder on the miseries  Trust has to be a foundation of any relationship i feel , one should take time to know each other so well that you can trust each other blindly than suffocating your partner to the extent that he or she is forced to indulge into something which he or she may not intend to.Several times i have seen men and women lying to their partners about their whereabouts, so keeping a tab ultimately leads to lies and frustration . And in a woman's case i feel they need a lot of attention and appreciation from a man and due to absence of care in a relationship and a marriage they tend to seek it outside the marriage or relationship.The balance in both the cases is very important. But at the same time one must not ignore the pressures one faces in and out side the house. Criticism and abuse is not at all acceptable in both the cases.Apart from the points mentioned above there are factors like weak characters, fatal attraction, fun for heck of it that induces both
to indulge into one night stands or extra marital relationships or two timing while dating someone , which i feel one needs to close eyes on . Such incidents with the kind of exposure this generation has , the  clubbing culture,social networking sites,dating sites,drinking and getting carried away ,which is a norm of open society does make cheating easier and encourage situations like one night stand.
Men and women both if working have better opportunities at their disposal as compared to the rest , but fulfilment at home makes one stronger to have a strong hold on oneself.Several times i have seen girls and women use men for their financial needs and in return get used by them which is quite evident.there is no scarcity of women and girls who don't mind going out with a man for mutual benefits and if such girls and women were not available in the society the choice for a man would certainly narrow down .Particularly the women who get involved with married men breaking the others home is condemnable, so lets not just blame men , women are equally responsible in this particular case.  .

Conclusion:  one who has to cheat will cheat and one who doesn't want to cheat will never cheat ,opportunity or no opportunity doesn't matter and depends on the inner strength one has .In my opinion in to today's time your partner loves you is what should matter to you rest everything one needs to leave behind .

i couldnt think of a title sorry

i was very young when i got married ,a tom boy who knew nothing about relationships nor household chores,an out going ,outspoken girl not a trace of diplomacy got married in to a joint family which was too orthodox, fell like a curse upon me.It was a marriage by choice and me being a girl full of self pride never confided in my family , so i was left alone with strangers who i could not understand nor i had a wave length with any of the family members. I did not know how to deal with my mother in law a typical " sasu ma " who wouldn't stop playing politics , hence the result ,today i stay alone with my daughter ,quite content and happy. Though i haven't seen my mom in law but she has grown quite old now and i have no complaints about the hell she gave me while i was married,nor i complain her support to my x while he was having extra marital affairs .I strongly feel he never deserved a woman like me and i wish i should not have taken that long to dump him and move on.
But when i think of the family politics i feel had i not been too young , i would have been in a better position to handle the situation.I still have not become diplomatic,as there is a saying "people don't change" nor have i but i share each and every thought that crops up my mind,and the situations that i could have handled in a better way if i was i little diplomatic, which has really helped me train my daughter to deal with the world.She may hate a person to the core but never loses her smile. Three years back my niece's marriage was on rocks and the formula of being sugar coated worked for her so well that everything fell in her lap.
No matter what i went through in my marriage but i acknowledge the need for joint family system .Being a sensitive and respectful person i would have really taken care of my in laws when they grew old,we being human beings fight for materials, have traits to get jealous disagree with others point of views and blah blah blah....but in the end we are helpless in front of supreme power.we all came alone empty handed and shall go the same way. being a responsible mother ,certainly i do want to secure my daughter but when it comes to me i hold no desires for materials and same is the case with all of us.I am happy with a pinch of love here  and there and that makes me feel good. my achievements make me proud but the materials i have achieved make me happy as they convey a message i can go peacefully without worrying about my daughter.
if given a chance i would like to leave everything and just write till the end ,of late i have begun to miss my gym ,reduced my work pressure and enjoy writing my blogs , my pleasure is to be heard by people else i feel lost in this world where no one knows no one and each one is lost in the grind of life.

Journey of Kohinoor Diamond from Delhi to Britain

   
                                                                         

India wants its crown jewel: The Kohinoor

Kohinoor diamond at the time it was found,  was said to weigh 793 carats, but through some incredibly ham-fisted cutting and polishing by a jeweller named Borgio it was reduced to 186 carats. This further reduced it from 186 carats to its present size of just less than 106 caratsIt is believed that the Kohinoor carries with it a curse and only when in the possession of a woman will the curse not work.

                                                         
The Mughal Empire was the longest foreign rule which lasted for more than three centuries in India and can be considered one of the largest centralised in pre modern history. The glorious rule came to an end with Aurangzeb's death who was a great ruler and set example by not using the  royal treasury which he believed belonged to the common man.  In fact, he wrote holy quran for his living which many of us may not be aware of(he used to write and sell) .  His wife used to weave skull caps to support his earning. He left seventeen legitimate claimants to the throne that included not only his sons but also his grandsons and great grandsons with his death.  Prince Muazzam assumed the title Bahadurshah I after killing his brother Prince Azam Shah and became the king. After the death of bahadurshah I a civil war broke out his son Jahandar Shah, emerged victorious in it with the support of Zulfiqar Khan who was the most powerful noble of the time. In Deccan Saiyid Husain Ali Khan colluded with the Marathas and attacked Delhi using trickery and intrigue seized Farrukhsiyar in the Red Fort. The emperor was blinded and caged and later poisoned as well as stabbed to death. However, prior to his death, Farrukhsiyar had the dubious distinction of aiding the British to have a firm foothold in India, by signing the much-coveted farman an imperial directive that would seal the future of British takeover of India.(excerpts from wikipedia)

Marathas were now constantly attacking Delhi. Nadir Shah (A Timur descendant) who had already usurped the throne in Persia and seized Kabul and Kandhar  and was invited by Muhammad Shah(only because he was incompetent to fight him due to lack of resources ).  as a guest to Delhi.  Nadir Shah who was in Delhi now  a royal guest , ordered a general massacre of Delhi citizens and looted every bit of wealth they could extort out of the royalty as well as Delhi’s citizens and departed with millions worth of gold, jewellry and coins. Even the emperor’s bejewelled peacock throne made during Shah Jahan's reign was packed on elephants and carried away to Persia. Another prize, the Koh-I-nur diamond (traditionally known as Madnayak or king of Jewels before being named renamed Kohinoor in 18th century  by Ahmad Shah Abdali who started his incursions into Delhi and looted the capital In a series of attacks , he also cleaned out Mathura, Kashmir and cities in Punjab). From the east the British defeated the Nawab of Bengal and occupied the state of Bengal.The Kōh-i Nūr which means "Mountain of Light" in Persian,  Koh-i-Nur, is a 105 carat (21.6 g) diamond (in its most recent cut) that was once the largest known diamond in the world was most recently seized by the East India Company and became part of the British Crown Jewels when Queen Victoria was proclaimed Empress of India in 1877.

my curious mind

This morning while i was writing my post on Marylin and Smitha for some reason lady Diana kept coming in my mind . now while i am writing about her i feel probably she wanted me to write about her,strange things happen in life, this lady would not have ever known my existence even if she was alive  ,though world apart i don't miss a single programme on her . she is one of those ladies i admire not for her being a princess,or being beautiful woman but for her sensitivity.i remember the jolt i got after hearing the news of her death . i still remember having seen her picture in a news paper when she became princess of whales.when i think about strong women i see a vacuum  hidden behind their persona,it may not be the case with all the successful or strong women but it could be the case with women i admire. destiny plays a strange role in most our lives so it did in lady Diana's case.i know how much i hate camilla but at the same time i also accept the fact that prince Charles never loved Diana and love knows no bound and hence the result.but what bothers me more than anything else is what was the need for the prince to marry her atall ,he could have married camilla but again it was destined to happen .i not being religious never believed in destiny but over the years i have established a strong belief in destiny and stars and astrology and cosmic powers and and and the list though not very long but i sure am not superstitious nor have i become religious.but there certainly is a power controlling all of us ,its a mystery which each of us wants to discover but fails like one of the college principals who committed suicide to see death.that was foolish but all of us are so curious to know if there is life after death an unsolved mystery

sets you on fire.......

 This is my contest entry for "sets you on fire"

If i go by my school teachers opinion about me i was never a brilliant student , but honestly as a child i felt i was much above their rating for a brilliant student ,a student who learnt from surroundings not books. i would flunk in half yearlies and a coupLe of times in finals too.every time i got my report card i would erase the actual marks with a blade change the figures ,have by report card signed by my dad ,re erase change back to actual marks and submit the report card. every morning would start with punishment to the extent one of my teacher "Shanta Ma'am " {Hope she reads my blog some day ) would pull my hair so hard that a lot of hair used to get uprooted from the beautiful crown i have ,LOL !! But it did not bother me at all day by day i was getting hardened by the sever punishment and in fact i started collecting my hair that would fall in hope of showing it to my parents who were away to pahelgam for 2 years.it was one of those days when i was told to call my dad to school and i didn't have a heart to inform my dad that his daughter is so notorious ,to talk about the fact i can equate the brilliance of all my classmates put together. incidentally my grand mom came to see me in t school the very next  day d as the luck would five minutes after my grand mom left my class teacher caught me and the first question she shot was "your dad didnt come ??" and my clever mind did not have to think and i shot back"my dari(dadi/grand mom) came to see you but couldn't find you and a little twist of my tongue saved me from situation.

Though  i grew up following Mahatma Gandhis teaching " bura mat dekho,bura mat suno and bura mat kaho" which is not easy to follow but  one of his teachings i have followed more ardently than others and that is lie if if really necessary and for me several such occassions do arrive every now and then ,one of them i would like to share with you all follows ;
i was caught by a traffic cop while talking on the phone while driving (though i was on loudspeaker but he noticed my lip movement ) and i had no choice but to stop my car to the signal from the cop chasing me in a police jeep . i frantically put away my phone under the driving seat while my other phone was lying on the pessanger seat . i pulled aside my car and quitely watched the cop walking towards me ,my mind contantly ticking like a clock as i was carrying neither my driving licence nor the car RC and Rest of the event is narrated below


Me     "Yes Sir"
cop     "you were on the phone "
me      "no sir ,you can see my phone lying on the other seat " pointing towards the other phone lying on the passenger seat

cop   " ma'am you kept it there after you saw us "
me     "never you can check my call record "
cop    " but i saw you talking" he argued in the meanwhile the senior cop had also join him and insisted that he also saw me talking .

me"   no sir,i was singing while driving "

both the cops looked at each others face and honestly i didnt know where to look to hide my sheepish smile and they let me go. i got away with my presence of mind and my  twist in tongue.LOL

copyright(c)alkanarula
gif credits http://photobucket.com/

similarities between marilyn monroe and silk smitha 's lives.......

 "good bye norma jean,though i never knew you  at all  but you had a grace to hold yourself , though those around you crawled......." Elton John

Last night was a night of Dirty Pictures ,towards the end of the movie ,i couldnt hold my tears exactly the way i couldnt hold them when i watched a movie based on  Marliyn Monoroes life .Some movies do leave an impact on your mind and being an emotional person i keep pondering over anything that touches my heart and this movie did it again.though i am not a movie buff ,i watch a movie only if its tooooo tooooo good and if its an emotional one its thoughts stay with me for days to come .Neither i had watched the promos nor i new nothing about the story line except that its inspired by a south indian actress silk smithas life who i did not know was dead or alive but by intermission my instincts told me that this girl is going to commit suicide ,thats probably my relationship with understanding of a woman who is selfmade,self risen from trash , exploited by society and last but not least successful and lonely.There are a lot of similarities in such women's lives but some break down and some intend to move on (wearing a mask of happiness to conceal their hollow souls ) and find ways to overcome the loneliness and continue their struggle towards emerging as a stronger person than the people who tried to or did succeed in exploiting them during their down trodden years of life.
the similarity between Marilyn and silk
Such is the similarity between Marilyn and silk smithas life,both started from scratch and became stars over night,both took up a screen name reshma became silk and Norma jean became Marilyn ,both were a part of glamour world and became legends(Marilyn ,world wide while silk industry wide probably will become world wide famous after this movie which has got four and a half *), in both the cases their charm worked for them to reach the top,both were aware of their assets and flaunted them to fullest ,both had at least one affair with a very successful yet married man who deserted them, in both the cases they shared a good repo with their younger brothers of these two men , who  also in the end deserted them for their selfish reasons, both the girls became alcoholics ,self destructive and in the end so lonely that it led to suicide and were cremated by one of their lovers !!

the versatile blogger awards

It's Time for The Award Ceremony.

Thank you so much leo paw of bigbitz fame ( http://bigbitz.blogspot.com/ ) for nominating me for the award

its an honor for me to recieve this award from a great blogger like you and it means alot to me ps its my

first such nomination..am soooooooo very thrilled:)

there are 5rules to be followed along with the nomination which are given below

1. Nominate 15 Fellow Bloggers
2. Inform the Bloggers of their nomination
3. Share 7 random things about yourself
4. Thank the Blogger who nominated you
5. Add the Versatile Blog Award picture to your blog post

I feel honored to pass on the award to 15 wonderful fellow bloggers whos posts i have aalways loved to read and have really enjoyed reading the nominations are given below

1.Readittt for  Readitt (the e magazine)

2.Sagittarian for       What Matters Most

3.Saru singhal    for Words

4.Narcissist for  Diary of a Narcissist

5.Apoyando for Striking the chords..

6.Kitty for Kitty's Pitara

7.Mn hopkins for Stranger In A Strange Land

8.Rahul bhatia for Rahul's Blog and collections

9.Deepak karthik for WhateveR iT TakeS !!

10.Rob for Wind Rose Hotel

11.Sujatha sathya for Conversations

12.Priyanka mohanty for Airy Nothing

13.Ellie great for Blogger (Blogspot) - elliegreat

14.Shashi for Blogger (Blogspot) - shadowdancingwithmind

15.Simplified blogging for SB

NOW ITS TIME FOR 7 RANDOM THINGS ABOUT ME

1.I am scared of travelling in metros i fear that i will get lost

2.I am a absolute loner dont have too many friends

3.I am the worst cook in the world you can imagine and my daughter is the real cook whos recipes you read

4.Television gives me a headache

5.I am completely self established and independent

6.I live in a world of my own a fantasy world when i write my poetry

7.I can sleep 24hours a day if given a chance:p

Now its time for me to inform all my fellow bloggers who i have nominated,keep blogging you all.

and a biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiggggggg thank you to leo paw

Should prostitution be legalised ?????

A lot of people may disagree with me or even feel offended but this issue has often bothered me and given a choice i would have loved to voice my support to sex workers.I haven't forgotten my grand dads word " wine,woman and gambling has existed  from ancient times and will never become extinct"as a child i could understand wine and gamble but prostitution had such deep and vast meaning it was beyond my comprehension at that age.
Some time back i had a discussion with a Mumbai based friend  about the ban on Beer Bars in Mumbai , few thousand girls lost their source of income . Though the Govt did try to rehab them but it doesn't seem to have worked  and i have a strong feeling it never will as the girls sure cant survive on what they earn from a rehab as they have huge families to support, nor they are educated enough to take up  good paying job due to lack of education nor would people accept them in a society where prostitution is looked down upon until its legalised.Few days back i saw a few girls being arrested  from a cellar of a bar in Mumbai and last night i saw about 300 girls have been arrested in various raids in Mumbai alone in past few days. Everytime i see girls hiding their faces coming out of their hideout with lady cops who look very proud after the kill makes me wonder, why cant prostitution be legalised in our country like few western countries , where a sex worker files an  income tax return and live  a normal life , like any other normal female and is not looked down upon.there are pros and cons in every business ,every relationship , most foods , almost everything then why cant we accept this trade just like any other trade . I accept the fact that there are people who do not afford to be in a bar or a brothel and end up spending all their earnings in such place while their families starve but why cant we have a law where a minimum entry free is charged or right to enter is reserved like a luxury hotel or a night club, by the owners which is not affordable by such people ??The latest stats of men going for paid sex  that  i saw in the news were 23 %  and if we calculate the number considering Indian population its huge. And i am sure that 23% does not include men who must have chosen or not felt comfortable  to disclose that part of their lives . Lets accept the fact men are men they do stray ( not all men) nor can we stop the girls who are in this trade then why not have a system . Men do it for pleasure  its natural instinct with them  and if we go back in History a king could have any no of wives but with women becoming aware of their rites and restrictions by the law a married man is not allowed to have a relationship outside his marriage  but extra marital affairs and one night stands do exist and in huge nos , neither wives nor govt has been able to stop or control them .I personally feel a man who pays for sex is much more honest to his wife as he has pleasure with no strings attached rather than the one who gets entangled in an emotional relationship , where a man in case is not able to balance both sides of his life ends up  hurting himself and both his wife and the other woman .  And where as sex workers are concerned no girl want to get in to it unless she is in desperate need , but who tries to understand them or their problems. who knows how many deaths a girl dies every time she indulges into an act  of no choice.Here i am not at all supporting forced or child prostitution nor trying to defend men who use these services, but i do discount the girls like models or film stars  in case they do indulge into such an activity , i totally understand the reason .sometimes when we are used to luxuries and glamour it becomes difficult for us to maintain a certain lifestyle which one finds difficult to maintain once deglamourised and we live in a democratic country where every one has a right to choose and do what one wants to. I personally visited beer bars in Mumbai one a high end and the other a low end  out of curiosity and understand these females.i couldn't stop myself from dancing with them on the floor with the music on and was actually forced to come back on my seat by my friend , for not being misunderstood by other men present in the bar, but i found no difference between the girls and me as human beings except for they wanted to dance for money but i wasn't there for money ,it was the music i enjoyed.They were all flesh and bones  like me with a heart beat inside , but were wearing a mask that one could not see through .I strongly feel it should be legalised so that these girls do not have to live a life of guilt ,certain measures do need to be taken . Any body familiar with Delhi would know about the round about next to posh Defence Colony market where one can find  a number of girls making inviting gestures and walking up to the cars that had stopped for them and the cops around turn a blind eye as Hafta ( from these girls )  . These girls are harassed if they refuse to pay them (seen with my own eyes and after speaking to these girls personally ) And i am sure every one is aware its not just men these days women too are indulging into buying sex and Gigolo are also on rise in metro pols .  But if you really ask me no govt ,no wife or family can stop a man from from indulging into  it in fact if the prostitution is legalised it will ensure safety ,respect  for the so called antisocial elements of the society and generate revenue for the govt which right now goes into the pockets of  some greedy policemen.
copyright(c) alka narula
excerpts from the book"should prostitution be legalised"by alka narula copying the concept or matter is strictly prohibited and will lead to legal repurcussions

"whats's your problem " says Veena Malik......

 Veena is back in news ! Though i am not a person who is too much in to bollywood so most of the times  i am unable to recognise the faces except for few Mallika Sherawat,Rakhi Sawant and latest on list Veena Malik ,all three known for controversies but honestly they really have got the nerve of the audience and  being one of them ,i remember  their names by heart , though i don't remember having seen a Hindi movie for past few years , but have seen these faces  in news on eruption of a new contoversy .

Veena got the mantra to remain in the lime light by constantly getting in to one or the other controversy,i find her a smart chick who knows her way up on top. Her entry in bollywood started with match fixing scandal followed by scripted love affair in big boss and now her nude picture on the cover page of an Indian magazine FHM with the initials of Pakistan's feared and powerful intelligence agency on her arm has triggered fury across this conservative nation  though audience of both the countries are thoroughly enjoying it.

 .Conservative cleric Maulana Abdul Qawi declared on Aaj TV on Saturday that her latest venture into controversy was a "shame for all Muslims."

 In an interview with Pakistani Geo television broadcast Saturday, however, Though Veena has not denied having been photographed for a "bold but not nude shot "  but claims that photo was published in violation of her agreement with FHM where as  magazine editor Kabeer Sharma said Malik had given full consent for the shoot and the picture. Asked by reporters whether Pakistan would "pursue the matter" legally, the country's Interior Minister Rehman Malik said Saturday, "First, let us see whether it is real or fake."

 

No matter what one says but Veena sure is to get away with " whats your problem " after all its Veena Malik who knows once the magazine is public Maulanas to  Rehman Malik are all gonna like it and forget what they didn't like , and that is  HER GUTS !!